Sunday, 11 August 2013

Big Gay Longcat reviews Dark Towers

Come with me, yes come with me,
To Dark Towers.
Who can tell what we shall see
In Dark Towers?
Dust and cobwebs everywhere,
Footsteps on the winding stair,
Mystery is in the air
In Dark Towers.
In the garden, in the hall,
Through the arch behind the wall,
Come and listen to the call
Of Dark Towers.

Dark Towers is a Look and Read TV series from 1981. I am a clever cat; I can both Look and Read. Not all cats can do that. Even mannys have to be taught how to do those things. Dark Towers is of interest to me because Duncan saw it when he was a little manny in the 1980s and he says it was good, but scary for little mannys or scaredy cats. Now, with the power of the internets, me and my friends can watch it too.

Dark Towers in danger!

Part one of Dark Towers begins by introducing the main character Towser. Towser is a doggy and his name is an anagram of "Towers" so maybe he is the chosen one. Towser's best friend is Tracy and they meet Lord Edward Dark of Dark Towers. Towser then runs off to get the plot started and the two mannys follow him.

Tracy meets David Collings, who is playing Lord Dark.
"Oh no, not another one!"she thinks. Lord Dark is Edward's father. Starcat thinks they should have saved that for a later episode to be a shock revelation, but I think that would have been too obvious a twist only a year after The Empire Strikes Back.

Lord Dark explains that "some Lords are poor" in a vain attempt to get us to feel sorry for the aristocracy. Then Towser, Tracy, and the Lords Dark all see a ghost in an old painting say "Dark Towers is in danger!"
That is the end of the episode.

The man in the picture

Part two picks up from exactly where part one ended. There is some great spooky music to go with the ghostly scenes in this, it is very early-80s sounding like in Doctor Who around that time. It seems that only Towser and Tracy heard the ghost's warning so the Lords Dark don't believe their house is in danger. Towser, Tracy and Edward explore the house.

Edward gives Towser a hat. Then they meet Mr Benger and Mr Bunce (played by Christopher Biggins and Servalan's randomly Scottish henchmanny from Gambit). Towser immediately recognises them as obvious baddys and growls, then goes outside and pees on their van. What a naughty doggy!

Sadly there is a blatant continuity error here as Towser's new hat disappears when he goes outside. Tsk and mew, I say. Because I am a cat.

Towser runs inside and up some stairs to "the red bedroom" and barks a lot until Tracy and Edward follow him in. Towser is clearly the brains of this party. The music and narration indicate that something important is about to happen. A ghost appears in the bed!

This is not as scary as it sounds because Towser knows the ghost is friendly and wags his tail instead of being frightened, and the ghost laughs in a friendly way to see a happy doggy.

This subversion of a typical scary cliffhanger is the end of the episode.

The first two episodes of Dark Towers are adequate at introducing most of the main characters - including Dark Towers the house itself - but the plot, despite Towser's best efforts, hasn't really got going yet.

Continued in Part Two.

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