Friday, 8 May 2015
Yesterday was the cat election. The results were as follows:
Big Gay Longcat - 1 vote
Gamma Longcat - 1 vote
Starcat - 1 vote
Scary Cat - 1 vote
Mr Purple Cat - 1 vote
Emo Cat - 1 vote
Expensive Luxury Cat - 1 vote
Kitten - 1 vote
This eight-way tie was exactly as the exit poll predicted, because cats always vote for themselves. This means that, as usual, no Prince of Cats has been elected, but at least all cats' votes count. (Teh satires!111)
The doggies also held an election, in which Puppy received all four votes and was returned as Captain of Puppies for the Black Cushion constituency.
Mannys also held an election, in which the SNP did well. They are a Nationalist Party but they are not Socialist, because those two things do not go well together (oh no indeed). Their main policy is for mannys to have names of fish in order to confuse cats. Mew.
Elsewhere in Britain the CUP did well, meaning mannys will still have something to drink out of for the next five years. If you think that's a bad joke then you should have seen [fill in your own punchline about the manny election here].