Sunday, 15 May 2016

Eurovision 2016

The Eurovision Singing Competiton is the one night of the year when mannys try to be as fabulous as cats and to sing as well as cats do, but silly manny politics always gets in the way. Here are some thoughts on this year's contest...

Azerbaijan want to do the next James Bond film's theme song. Bulgaria want to be in the next Tron film.

France was more concerned with persuading British mannys to stay in the European Broadcasting Union, by singing their song partly in English, than in winning Eurovision.

Poland wanted to attract the USA to Eurovision by spelling "color" the American way.

I think the Australian entry's costume was borrowed from Servalan. Austria (not the same country; that's very confusing for a cat you know) sang the closing theme song to a Miyazaki film.

The UK's own entry was not nearly as good as last year's. Here it is for you to watch:

In fact none of the songs in the contest were really great when compared with previous years. We cynical old cats have a theory that these days the best songs get voted out during the semi-finals, such as a rude manny performing in the nude with cuddly doggys - that sounds like the best Eurovision entry evar!

In the final analysis the best song of the show by miles was done by Sweden but was not their entry into the Competition.

Love Love Peace Peace was a sketch and song from the interval, and is one of the best things Eurovision has ever done (something a cat does not say lightly). I never thought anyone would out-meta Lithuania's We Are The Winners song from 2006!

The voting was even more obviously political than usual - for starters someone in Blackpool who spoke French hacked the satellite to give France's votes (explaining why the UK got such few votes from France).

But most of the politics was around Russia and Ukraine. Russia are perennial Eurovision baddys, but this year they sent a good song - my favourite (proper) song this year - and a nice manny to sing it, not a baddy at all.

But Ukraine sent a manny to sing about how much of a baddy Stalin was, and I think if there is one thing that everyone in Eurovision can agree on then it is that Stalin was bad, so they won.

"I want my great-grandmother back you son of a bitch!"

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