The most famous and beloved (at least among cats) episode of The Goodies, the original version of
Kitten Kong was wiped, in a similar manner to early
Doctor Who stories such as
The Hall of Dolls or
The Savages. Fortunately we still have the special edition from 1972, which won an award, showing that mannys can sometimes get it right... or maybe cats were the judges for the award, as should always be the case, mew.
It starts with the inferior version of the Goodies theme song that they used for the first two seasons. Then Bill is making noms when Tim and Graeme arrive back from the chess match they have been watching. The noms that Bill is making are for Bunter the guinea pig, who Bill is looking after because Bunter is not very well. Bill thinks he is "fed up of his usual diet" of "soggy lettuce and potato peelings" so has made him manny noms instead.
Tim and Graeme are also hungry, so Bill gives them soggy lettuce and potato peelings, lol. The comic reversal inherent in this situation thematically foreshadows what will occur in the second half of the episode.
Bill is being paid £30 for curing Bunter, and this gives Tim the idea of getting lots of
animals to cure so they can get even more moneys. They set up a "Goodies Animal Clinic," and this leads in to a montage of Tim and Bill collecting lots of animals, over which the song
Needed plays as incidental music - this is an irritating song that was used far too frequently in the first two seasons of The Goodies, and now I need to visit the Goodies Animal Clinic because I am sick of hearing it.
They put all the animals in a big hamper. and there are a number of visual gags about the animals all fighting or noming each other, and Tim wrestles with a massive snake. One of the animals is a tiny and super-cute kitten who mews very loudly, d'awwwww.
Back at the Goodies' office, Graeme has some other animals, including a "bush baby" who keeps sticking to Graeme's hands, making for a lovely running gag, and a vampire bat that is afraid of the dark and who attacks Graeme even though he says it is "lovely."
There are also two doggys that sing, although this is quite poorly achieved by dubbing a manny song over some manipulated footage of the doggys (in a similar way to the notorious double-taking pigeon scene in James Bond), making it one of the few gags that fails to work in this episode. I could have done it better.
However, things move swiftly on as we are properly introduced to the star of the show when Tim brings out the kitten from earlier. Graeme says his name is Twinkle and he is 23 years old.
Bill takes a doggy for a walk on a lead. Tim takes Twinkle out for a walk, also on a lead. And Graeme has a tortoise on a lead, although it doesn't do much walking, in spite of Graeme's best efforts.
They each try to get their animals to do exercise, with varying degrees of success. When Twinkle runs off he pulls Tim around after him, including dragging him along the ground when Tim falls over. This is a great scene, employing a lot of the Goodies' patented sped-up footage and camera trickery to create a number of sight gags. Eventually Twinkle runs up a tree and stays there mewing loudly.
This is the end of part one.
We then see a couple of fake adverts satirising real adverts of the early 1970s. Since the originals are long gone, these would be very badly dated anyway, but the second of them is for "Butch, the tobacco for men" and the joke here is essentially just "lol teh gays" as the punchline is nothing more than the suggestion that the two "butch" mannys (one of whom is Tim) are really gay. While not
actively homophobic (it is not saying gays are
bad), it is thoughtlessly using the mere existence of gay mannys as a punchline.
The inclusion of this sort of thing in what is otherwise the best ever episode of The Goodies shows that the programmes cannot escape being 'of their time,' with this sort of material having dated even more than the idea of advertising tobacco on TV.
Part two rejoins the plot with Tim still unsuccessfully trying to get Twinkle down from the tree. Bill and Graeme help, first by trying to tempt him down with noms, and then using a ladder. Bill gets Twinkle down eventually, but leaves Tim stuck up in the tree instead, lol.
In the next scene Bill and Graeme are both back at the office when Tim comes in and says he was up the tree for "four days." They show Tim that, in that time, Twinkle has grown to become a giant kitten.
Tim is scared, but we think Twinkle is still super-cute. Later on, Twinkle escapes after Bill puts him out for the night. This leads to an amusing bit of dialogue that also sets up the next bit of plot:
Graeme: "We've got to find him, and catch him before he eats someone he shouldn't."
Tim: "Ah, you mean 'something he shouldn't.'"
Graeme: "I know what I mean!"
They cycle around looking for Twinkle, who has left giant pawprints on the ground. The song that plays over this scene is
Kitten Kong which is a favourite among us cats, although I have a suspicion that if it had been used as often as
Needed then we'd be just as tired of it.
They find some mannys running away in terror and ask one of them for directions, then they see some doggys running away and do the same with one of them. They hear Twinkle's mewing, and then see him being all giant but still super-cute.
Tim's expression here as he looks back at the camera is particularly good, and helps to cover for the slightly unconvincing back projection.
They cycle back to their office and watch the news, where "Twinkle the giant kitten" is the top story. Michael Aspel reports on "day two of Twinkle's occupation of the city of London."
Twinkle knocks over the Post Office Tower (possibly saving the world from WOTAN, I don't know) in what is arguably the most iconic single image from The Goodies - it would go on the be prominently used in the series' title sequence for the rest of the 1970s - and instantly made Twinkle into one of the most famous cats in the whole world.
Take that, Cybermannys!
Then Twinkle steps on Michael Aspel, lol.
Graeme has an antidote to his "growth mixture" in a giant needle. They disguise themselves as mouses for the next part of his plan.
"I expect this is a silly question, but why are we dressed as mice?"
"Because cats eat mice."
Graeme's right - we do. You can tell he's the clever one.
Twinkle sneaks up on them...
...and then chases them. They turn their trandem into a hot air balloon and fly up to Twinkle. Bill falls off and gets captured in a giant paw, a clear homage to the original
King Kong, but then Graeme manages to inject Twinkle and he become little again. Aww. Twinkle's reign of super-cute terror was beautiful but, alas, all too brief.
The Goodies are celebrating when Graeme accidentally punctures their balloon with his needle and they go out of control, then they get stuck on the nose of a plane until it lands.
The next scene sees them back in their office, where they discover mouses have been noming the growth mixture while they were out dealing with Twinkle, and then giant mouses break through the walls to scare them.
The episode ends with them desperately shouting "feed the cat!" as they try to get Twinkle to be giant again so that he can pounce on the mouses, lol.
