"Time for a new mission."
"Good morning Mr Klegg.
A small nation on an island off the coast of Western Europe has become dangerously divided between two extremist political factions. The governing party is friendly to us but is paralysed by weak leadership, with no individual in overall control. However a typical senior member of this party is this man...
Foreign Secretary C... er, Hunt, whose policies include privatising their National Health Service, flogging servants, shooting poor people, and the extension of slavery to anyone who hasn't got a knighthood.
The opposing party is presently dominated by this man...
Known only as "Jeremy," he rules it with an authoritarian, iron fist with the aid of a cadre of fanatically loyal supporters.
But it is not all good news for us: he is a socialist, with unacceptably fringe policies such as nationalising the railways and raising taxes on the wealthy.
He is also an anti-semite, as can clearly be seen from this out-of-context photograph:
Regardless of which of these two parties are in power, both are committed to their country leaving the European Union, which would weaken our Western Alliance against the Eastern Bloc.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to form a new political party that can occupy the centre ground of politics - an area that is currently completely unrepresented in that country..."
"Wait a minute..."
"This third party will need to be unambiguously in favour of remaining inside the European Union as its main policy, and use this to lure away the more moderate members of the other two parties, the majority of whom secretly hold such a view. This will be universally popular among the general populace, who are crying out for such a mainstream party to represent them.
Now I know what you're thinking..."
"...That such a party already exists?"
"...That such a party already exists, only we can't count the nationalist parties because they do not field candidates in every electoral constituency - something this brand new party must do if it is to challenge the two established parties.
You have carte blanche as to the name of the party, however it must encapsulate both a commitment to liberal values and support for the ideals of democracy."
"Are you taking the..?"
"As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the Editor will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
This party will self destruct in five seconds.
Good luck Nick."
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