Eurovision 2024

As always, we cats were really looking forward to this year's Eurovision Singing Competition. Despite the attempts of some mannys to spoil it for the rest of us by getting all of their rivals disqualified before the singing even began, it still went ahead in Sweden.

They last hosted it in 2016, and they really know how to put on a show, with a great performance by Swedish disco group Alcazar at the interval. Though sadly no involvement from Måns Zelmerlöw (purr) this year.

If Luxembourg had really wanted to win, they could just have gotten their giant CGI cats to nom all the other competitors. Maybe the cats were just there to guard their singing manny from her rivals?

The first really exciting performance came from Spain, who had Katy Manning singing, scantily clad mannys dancing, and a keytar - now that's Eurovision!

Estonia also had a great entry, with the first komedy song of the night. I have no idea what it was about.

But good as Spain and Estonia were, they were just the warm up for Ireland's entry. It looks like they're finally ready to properly try and win again. They even included a Bucks Fizz style costume rip, it must be literally minutes since we last saw one of those. But the strangest thing about their performance was the 4:3 aspect ratio - was this coming to us from somewhere in the last century?

Greece started off ordinary, but soon became a typically incomprehensible Greek entry with several changes in style across the course of the song.

Finland's silly entry quickly became my favourite, being sung by "Windows95man," a rude manny with no pants on. And then when he was made to put pants on, fireworks came out of them, lol. So stupid but brilliant. Pure Eurovision craziness.

Armenia combined traditional folk costume on the singer with modern crazy dancing and interacting with the swooping camera. In a typical year they might have stood out more, but the standard this year was high - though not for all songs.

Croatia had a cat in their introductory video, but sadly the cat was not the singer of the song, it was the manny in the middle. Mew.

It is a Eurovision tradition that at least one entry has costumes that look like they were provided by the Federation, and this year it was Austria's turn, the very last song to be performed.

Switzerland won. I don't know why. But then we never do. The reasons why mannys vote the way they do is an impenetrable mystery to us cats.