Wednesday, 19 June 2019

Big Gay Longcat reviews The Lord of the Rings (1978)

There have been many attempts to adapt The Lord of the Rings book over the years. The best of these by far is the BBC's radio version from 1981, which is the best thing that has evar been made evar (except for cats). But just as The Hobbit book preceded Lord of the Rings, so too was there a film version that preceded the radio series, one that remains to this day the best and most faithful attempt at adapting the book to a visual medium. 

To see why I consider it to be much, much better than the 2001-2003 trilogy, let's look at the 1978 film of

Let's start with the theme music, which is just as brilliant in its own way as the theme from the radio series, although the two feel different because they are trying for different moods - this is upbeat and fun while still hinting at the epic scale of the story, while the radio theme emphasises the epic by making it clear that this is serious business.
I do like the 2001 film music as well - its ponderous grandeur is well-suited to the extreme length of those movies - but it is a distant third place.

The opening narration is very close to the radio's - so much so that I do not think it can be a coincidence:
"Long ago, in the early years of the Second Age, the great Elven smiths forged Rings of Power."


We are given an impression of the events described by the narrator, as indistinct figures act them out in front of a red background. This takes us from the forging of the Rings, through the Last Alliance, to the One Ring being found by Deagol. It is at this point that we first encounter Smeagol/Gollum, voiced by Peter Woodthorpe, the single most perfectly cast role of all time.

No exceptions.

No, not even Paul Darrow as Avon. I really mean this.

Bilbo finds the Ring and is chased off (without riddles) when he hears
"Thief! Baggins! Thief! It stole our precious, our precious, our birthday present... Thief! Baggins! We hates it forever!"
Only then does the narrator introduce Bilbo and the Shire, as the animation style changes from silhouette to the more cartoony cartoon in time for Bilbo's party.


"Proudfeet!"

Bilbo does his disappearing act and leaves the Ring to Frodo in an envelope after Gandalf threatens him. The dialogue is very condensed but still does a lot to establish both Bilbo and Gandalf's characters, and of course the influence of the Ring when Bilbo calls it his "precious," an echo of Gollum's earlier words.

Bilbo departs and there is a montage of the seasons changing to show the passing of the 17 years.


Frodo is having sleeps when Gandalf arrives and wakes him up (17 years is a long sleep even for a cat). Gandalf throws the Ring into the fire and then has to restrain Frodo from burning himself trying to retrieve it. He says the Ring is "altogether evil" even before he confirms it is the One Ring by seeing the letters, and then begins to tell Frodo about the history of the Ring. For some reason Sauron is incorrectly pronounced as Saw-ron in this film instead of Sour-on.

Gandalf speaks the rhyme
"One Ring to rule them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them"
in an incredibly hammy way, then the scene cuts to the two of them walking outside where Gandalf tells Frodo more of the story, about Gollum being captured by Sawron so that Sawron knows the Ring has been found. Frodo offers to give the ring to Gandalf because he is "wise and powerful." Gandalf says no very emphatically, perhaps forgetting that Frodo gave him the ring mere moments earlier so that he could throw it into the fire.

Sam is hiding in some nearby bushes (for no readily discernible reason) and overhears them talking. Gandalf finds him and pulls him out. Sam looks and sounds very, very derpy in this film, an unflattering country-bumpkin-turned-up-to-eleven portrayal.


Sam says he heard them talk "about an enemy, and rings, and about Elves, sir," even though Elves were not mentioned once, a flaw in the way the dialogue of this scene has been edited down. Gandalf instructs Frodo and Sam to go to Rivendell while he goes "to consult with the wizard Aruman, the head of my order."

This is the first instance of Saruman being called Aruman within the film, possibly the single most baffling decision on the part of the filmmakers - vying only with the fact that sometimes they do call him Saruman! I have heard a theory that they thought the names Sauron/Sawron and Saruman were too similar, something that was joked about in the old webcomic DM of the Rings, and so tried changing Saruman to Aruman to make them a bit more different (although, if you're doing that, why would you not at least be consistent about it?) but if this is true then how stupid are these mannys if they get confused just because the names both start with S and end in N and both have As, Us and Rs in them? Did they also wonder why our heroes are fighting against Superman?


When Gandalf meets with Saruman at Orthanc (where he calls him Saruman not Aruman - the film has taken less than a minute to confuse itself), Saruman the White is dressed in red and purple robes. He reveals he is now "Saruman of Many Colours," the most fabulous of all wizards, and he attacks Gandalf with a special effect and traps him. Gandalf then calls him "Aruman" as he departs, the film contradicting itself within the space of a single scene.


Gandalf is suddenly not in the room anymore, the camera pulls out to reveal he is trapped on a high place - this scene is weirdly trippy but effective, especially aided by the dramatic music.

When we rejoin them, Frodo and Sam have already acquired Merry and Pippin, and they montage their way out of the Shire until the first encounter with the Black Rider. The four of them and their pony hide just out of camera shot as the Rider comes in.

The Black Riders are very scary in this film, shadowy and sinister with glowing red eyes, and aided by the incidental music that plays whenever they are present. The music is really pulling its weight in building up the atmosphere in this film.


Where has the pony got to? Is it like Optimus Prime's trailer and can just vanish when not needed?

After this encounter the scene skips on to the town of Bree, thus establishing the age-old tradition of completely excising Tom Bombadil from all adaptations of Lord of the Rings.

At the Prancing Pony inn there is an uncomfortable mixing of two animation styles, as the local extras do not match up with any of the named characters. Frodo sings his song and falls off the table to put his finger in it, and when confronted by a grumpy Barliman Butterbur they run off to their room to find Strider already there waiting for them.


Strider is voiced by John Hurt, who adds some much-needed class to the part to help distract from the fact that they have animated Strider without any trousers. However he's no Robert Stephens (the radio Strider), and here you are left with the constant nagging worry that Strider is always on the verge of warning the Hobbits not to die of ignorance.

Strider's first scene is a crucial one as he introduces himself and wins the Hobbits (and us) over to trusting him, overcoming the suspicions of Sam and Butterbur. The dialogue here feels authentic to the original book, although some omissions and rearrangements have been done to speed it up.

The Black Riders enter Bree on their horseys, and then they teleport to the room in the inn - do the nine rings also function like teleport bracelets?
I suspect this was just easier for them to animate, similar to the reason teleporters were first introduced into Star Trek.


They make the background go all red as they attack the beds, which only serves to make this scene even scarier, but of course Strider has outwitted them and they are very grumpy once they discover the deception. Though they sure showed those bedsheets a thing or two.

The film cuts to the party making their way through the Midgewater Marshes. Here we learn their pony is called Bill, although the reason for this is left out and, if we didn't know better, Bill would appear to be the same pony they have had with them all along.

There is a short montage of them travelling to Weathertop. For all the condensation of this film, there is still time for some world-building if it helps develop the characters, so as they camp we hear Strider tell a few lines of the tale of Beren and Luthien, with all its parallels with the present situation of Aragorn and Arwen... which is odd, considering Arwen has been cut from this film completely and there is no other reference to Strider's subplot.
"And Beren was a mortal man, but Luthien Tinuviel was the daughter of a king of Elves, and she was the fairest maiden that has been among all the children of this world. Yet she chose to be mortal, for him. And when he died, she followed him. And so he was her doom...
...But he was her love as well."
As Strider says that last line, Frodo and Sam look into each other's eyes in such a way as to launch a thousand ships.


The Black Riders manifest out of the night and attack Weathertop. Frodo is compelled to put the Ring on. Strider tries to stop him with a "No!" that wouldn't pass for a Big No among self-respecting action heroes in our postmodern world.


Frodo disappears into the trippy shadow world of the Black Riders where he can see them but they can see him. They have a slow-motion fight until Strider, still in the real world so still at full speed, chases them off with fire. But he is too late to stop Frodo from being stabbed by the Morgul-knife.

The next day they meet Legolas.


Now I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that they don't meet Legolas at this point in the book. They meet Goldilocks Glorfindel instead. The BBC radio adaptation preserved this, while the 2001 film The Fellowship of the Ring chose to replace him with Arwen. I would suggest that all of these approaches have their advantages and disadvantages.

Using Glorfindel is, of course, the truest to the original author's vision. It also adds an extra character who is both interesting (not to mention pretty cool) in his own right as well as drawing out character traits of our heroes by his interactions with them, plus he serves as a further bridge from the smaller-scale Book 1 stuff to the larger, more epic scale of the later Books.
On the other paw, for adaptations with restricted run-time, adding an extra character is not necessarily a good thing, so swapping in a preexisting character means one less that you have to introduce and spend time on (and one less actor you have to cast and pay).

Replacing Glorfindel's role with Arwen is a fine example of this. Arwen is a notoriously underdeveloped character, so swapping her for Glorfindel at least gives her something active to do in the story, and the fact that she shares all of these scenes with her love interest Strider is a bonus. Glorfindel is also a very minor character, so can be changed or removed without making a massive change to the overall plot - much less than if, say, Arwen had replaced one of the Fellowship of the Ring.
(As I have mentioned before, I think it would actually have been better if they had done it the other way around and replaced Arwen with Glorfindel throughout the remainder of the story.)

Given that the 1978 film appears to have cut Arwen as well, replacing Glorfindel with Legolas seems a sensible alternative. It helps introduce Legolas to us now, thus spreading out our meeting the rest of the Fellowship from what would otherwise be a single scene at Rivendell.

The Black Riders catch up with them just as they get to "the ford of Rivendell." They send Frodo ahead on the one horsey they have (I have to assume this is still Asfaloth and they haven't substituted Shadowfax in to keep the number of horsey characters down) but the Riders attack him with distorted landscapes and scary music to hold him back - actually representing how the influence of the shadow world is growing upon Frodo even without him having the Ring on.

...And if you weren't scared before now, you will be when they speak:
"Come back, to Mordor we will take you."
I'm going to need Scary Cat to help me with this bit for sure.


Black Riders on the storm.

The landscape goes even madder, replaced with a stormy sky. Frodo hears Gandalf's voice say
"Run, you fool, run!"
Is that maybe a bit Ben-Kenobi-telling-Luke-to-run-on-the-Death-Star? It's certainly not from the book, and this film could - just - have been influenced by Star Wars given its 1978 release date.

Frodo is pursued in and out of the real world until all nine Riders are behind him. He crosses the ford and still bravely defies them, so they begin to cross after him. Even their horseys have scary red eyes, the Black Riders are pretty impressive as baddys go. Although you could argue that perhaps it shouldn't take all nine of them to go after one Hobbit, that's less impressive. However it is necessary for the plot as that way they are all of them caught by the river rising against them, a pretty impressive sequence visually and a solid conclusion to Book 1.


The forces of Hoover were driven forever from the face of the living room by the valiant friends of Big Gay Longcat. As their gallant battle ended, so too ends the first great review of The Lord of the Rings.

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