"Let's see, who do I want to use for this mission? Well, Juncker looks like Rollin Hand in a moustache and grey wig, so he's a given. That puts us somewhere in season 2 or 3, so the rest of the team must consist of Willy Armitage, Barney Collier and Cinnamon Carter."
"So what's the plan, Jim?"
"Well Rollin, the English hate voting, so if we're to make sure this referendum succeeds then we have to make them hate the European Union even more, in order to shake them from their usual apathy and get a high turnout on polling day. And the best way to do that is for you to disguise yourself as Juncker and make public speeches to show how undemocratic the European Union really is."
"But Jim, won't the real Juncker be suspicious if we do that?"
"No, Cinnamon, because the beauty of this plan is that we can use his own words against him. Rollin..."
"We decide on something, leave it lying around and wait and see what happens. If no one kicks up a fuss, because most people don't understand what has been decided, we continue step by step until there is no turning back."
"Beautiful. What sort of opposition can we expect, Jim?"
"The public face of the 'Vote Leave' campaign is a man called Boris Johnson. But he's a Soviet sleeper agent who secretly wants the Leave campaign to fail, as that would put him one step closer to becoming Cameron's successor as Prime Minister."
"Can we take him out?"
"That's too risky for such a public figure, Willy. We'll have to work around him and trust that - like with Juncker - his own words and treacherous nature will condemn him."
"But Jim, what I don't understand is... didn't we use to be on good terms with the European Union?"
"That was in the good old days of the Cold War, Willy, when - despite its undemocratic nature - it was useful in helping to keep Western Europe united against Communist aggression. But now it threatens American trade agreements, and what is bad for US trade is bad for democracy."
"One last question, Jim - what role do I have in this plan?"
"Sorry Barney, but we're going to have to work with some pretty unpleasant characters on this one - xenophobes, racists, and lefties. As a black electronics expert, you wouldn't last five minutes without being accused of taking their job, attacked, or patronised (respectively). So you'll have to sit this one out. We tried to get someone local to stand in for you, but curiously everyone we spoke to with your level of qualifications and expertise supported the other side."
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