Sunday, 31 October 2010

The Sulk of Cthulhu

Why are there no decent films with me in them?

Dracula gets films made about him all the time, but I don't. I know not all of them are good, like that one with Gary Oldman in it (he's not Old, I'm Old, you mortals don't know the meaning of the word) which was terrible. But there are still lots more films about him, and vampires in general, than about me, and I'm a Great Old One. Not only can I come back from the dead at least as well as Dracula, but I'm much harder to kill in the first place - I laugh at such things as sunlight, garlic, religious symbols, you name it - anything he's vulnerable to, I'm, not. The only thing I don't like is the stars not being right...

So, mortals, if you wish me to spare you when the stars are right, make some films with me in them. And make sure they're not awful - that's important too. They can be insane if you like, after all, anyone who watches them will have to lose D100 points of sanity. Just as you will now, if you please...

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