Sunday, 11 May 2014

Eurovision 2014

It's the one Caturday night of the year when there's something more fabulous than Blakes 7 on TV, and that night is Eurovision night!

This year was no exception, with many wonderful and fabulous entries (and a few bland or underwhelming entries too, but they can't all be best) from all over Eurovision.

Here are my comments, recorded live as the show was being performed.

1. UKRAINE | Tick-Tock by Mariya Yaremchuk
Manny doing impression of a mouse in a wheel. He should be pounced on like all mouses because mouses are for pounces. Great start.

2. BELARUS | Cheesecake by Teo
Manny with silly hair dancing with his clones.

3. AZERBIJAN | Start a Fire by Dilara Kazimova
Trapeze act slowly getting more impressive while teleporting to different locations, and with a song going on too.

4. ICELAND | No Prejudice by Pollapönk
Very colourful mannys, one of whom is Timothy Claypole from Rentaghost. Fun song. They turned the audience colours too.

5. NORWAY | Silent Storm by Carl Espen
Manny in black with a sad song, very different to the last one and made for an abrupt change of mood. Made me feel sad. I don't want to be a sad cat.

6. ROMANIA | Miracle by Paula Seling and Ovi
Another manny in black with silly hair, like a cross between Belarus and Norway's entries. He has a teleporting friend and a circle piano to help him stand out, and the song did get exciting.

7. ARMENIA | Not Alone by Aram MP3
He has a badge. The Monkeys With Badges like him. He made his badge himself. His song got dramatic and exciting towards the end after a dull start.

8. MONTENEGROMoj svijet by Sergej Ćetković
A skater danced around to try to distract from the blandness of the song.

9. POLAND | We Are Slavic by Donatan and Cleo
Fun costumes and loud singing just as cats like Eurovision songs to be. I'm not sure what the dancers were doing though, it seemed very unorthodox.

10. GREECE | Rise Up by Freaky Fortune feat. RiskyKidd
Leather jackets, trampoline fun, and a great catchy song too.

11. AUSTRIA | Rise Like a Phoenix by Conchita Wurst
This is clearly a James Bond theme song. I am an overexcited cat. I am a sleepy cat. Time for sleeps. Zzzzz.

12. GERMANY | Is It Right by Elaiza
Zzzzz. [I missed it because of sleeps.]

13. SWEDEN | Undo by Sanna Nielsen
Zzzzz... An explosion in the song woke me up in time to see the end of this. I don't think I missed much though.

14. FRANCE | Moustache by TWIN TWIN
Song about a moustache. With very silly hair.

15. RUSSIA | Shine by the villainous Tolmachevy Sisters
Boo! Boo! Russia are the baddys of Eurovision this year.

16. ITALYLa mia città by Emma
One of the Roman gods has returned, meaning to win Eurovision. Where is Captain Kirk when we need him? He knows how to defeat returning ancients gods like that. (Either with hugs and kiffs, or with his own singing.)

17. SLOVENIA | Round and Round by Tinkara Kovač
This tried to be exciting but there have been much better songs already.

18. FINLAND | Something Better by Softengine
Lots of lasers! Neem! Neem! The audience all got lasered.

19. Notorious Eurovision Cheats SPAIN | Dancing in the Rain by Ruth Lorenzo
It's raining inside in Denmark. I hope that doesn't happen here as we don't want to be wet cats. Poor manny got wet while singing. In the rain. From Spain.

20. SWITZERLAND | Hunter of Stars by Sebalter
A spoof Eurovision song by Chris Morris  has turned up in the real thing. (Nobody could tell the difference.)

21. HUNGARY | Running by András Kállay-Saunders
The manny knocked over his chair in his hurry to sing his song. That's passion! He loves Eurovision almost as much as big, gay, long cats do. Who's playing the piano?

22. MALTA | Coming Home by Firelight
Quite good song but a generic performance.

23. DENMARKCliché Love Song by Basim
An all-out comedy song! At last! Amazing dancing too, it reminded me of Tongue Tied.

24. NETHERLANDS | Calm After the Storm by the Common Linnets
Expensive Luxury Cat liked this one, I'm not sure why.

25. SAN MARINO (who?) | Maybe by Valentina Monetta
Another comedy song. In fact, here it is:

Lol, I am a silly cat.

26. UNITED KINGDOMChildren of the Universe by Molly
Children of the Universe sounds like a Blakes 7 episode. Oh wait, I'm thinking of Children of Auron.

Well, Austria won the competition, but it wasn't the best song for me. My best song was from Iceland. Here's why:

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