Friday 23 July 2021

Big Gay Longcat reviews Doctor Who: The Time Monster Episode Five

The Doctor is able to talk to Jo as a voiceover, because
"The TARDIS is relaying my thoughts to you."
The Doctor is thus able to tell Jo to pull a lever on the TARDIS console that makes him reappear inside the TARDIS.


Well, after the dire situation that the Doctor and Jo were left in at the end of part four I'm bound to say that the resolution is a bit of an anticlimax. Then again, it is also quite fitting that a very abstract moment of peril should be solved in an equally abstract way.

The scene now shifts to Atlantis - the main focus of the rest of the story, which maybe explains why it now ceases to be shot in soft-focus? Hippias and Dalios talk to each other in an oldey-timey way, as if they're in some kind of BBC historical costume drama, but I can't find it in me to care about what they're saying because my eyes are being irresistibly drawn to the outstanding physical attributes of the figure seated to their left.


It's a cat!

Why are there so many stories with the Master in them that also have cats? His first and last stories both had cats in them, and there was also a cat at the very start of The Dæmons (which was written by the same writers as wrote this story). I think it is an attempt by the makers of Doctor Who to put an association into the brains of the viewers - because cats are best, therefore the Master is also best! Well if that was their intention, it succeeded, although casting Roger Delgado would probably have been enough on its own.

The Master's TARDIS appears in front of them and he steps out, bringing Krasis with him. He claims to be "an emissary from the gods."
Queen Galleia says
"He has the very bearing of a god himself."
and practically purrs like a cat when she sees him.

The Doctor's TARDIS materialises right next to the Master's. When the Doctor and Jo come out, Krasis orders the guards to capture them and take them to the king - although this is probably where the Doctor would have wanted to go anyway.

The Master tries hypno-eyesing King Dalios, and even turns his music on to reinforce this, but Dalios laughs it off and the music tails away like Orac when his key is removed. Dalios mocks the Master's claim to be from the gods with wit:
"Tell me then, what of great Poseidon? What did he have for breakfast? Fish, I suppose? And what of Zeus and Hera? What is the latest gossip from Olympus? Do tell me."
Mmmmm, fish. Also lol.


The Master leaves Dalios and passes the Doctor and Jo on his way out. He makes an astonished face at seeing them still alive.

They go in to see Dalios. There is a mix of the comic and the serious in their dialogue, as the Doctor introduces Jo to the king as "Jo, Jo Grant" and then Dalios calls her "Jojo Grant," a joke form that would later be used in The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy with "Dent Arthur Dent."
Dalios then tests them by calling Jo a goddess, passing it off as "clumsy gallantry" when Jo denies it, but really he was seeing if they were more honest than the Master had been.


The Doctor makes friends with Dalios, but meanwhile the Master is making friends with Queen Galleia (and her cat). Jo finds out that the Master is there and listens to their conversation. The Master knows exactly what Galleia wants, and plays her:
"Lady Queen, you are beautiful."
He's no Jarvik, but the effect is much the same. Galleia starts to tell him exposition about "the guardian" of the crystal. It then cuts to Dalios giving the same exposition to the Doctor. The Doctor realises from Dalios's description of the guardian that it is the minotaur that keeps all mannys away from the crystal.

Galleia plans to send Hippias with a sword to try and kill the minotaur, but says if he died trying then his "death would be of little account." This turns her servant Lakis, who is in love with Hippias, against her, so Lakis teams up with Jo to try to help Hippias. But they are too slow, because suddenly the lesiurely pace of the episode speeds up and Hippias is already on his way with Krasis.

Jo tries to shout a warning, but Krasis grabs her, throws her in the room, and then locks the door behind her. There is a "rar!" from off-screen and Jo sees something in there with her. Crash-zoom to her face - cliffhanger!

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