Sunday 13 February 2022

Big Gay Longcat reviews Doctor Who: Carnival of Monsters Episode Three


It would be a short episode if the Doctor and Jo got nomed immediately, so they don't. Vorg and Shirna try to build up the scariness of the Drashigs some more by saying "they're nomnivorous." Which means they'll nom anything, even spaceships.

Jo gets stuck in some water so can't run away any more. The Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver to detonate some marsh gas - a very similar use to the one he put the sonic screwdriver to use against the Sea Devils last season - and this sets fire to three Drashigs, which seems a bit harsh given how careful they were being to avoid appearing in the same shot as our heroes.


The Doctor frees Jo, but the Drashigs come back the very next scene (not on fire any more) and they are only saved when Kalik and Shirna persuade Vorg to put his paw into the scope and get in the Drashigs' way, because inside the scope it becomes giant again.

The Doctor and Jo get back into the futuristic set, and are both completely dry straight away despite having only just been running through water. It's probably a Time Lord gift or something, mew.

The Doctor finally puts the last pieces together to realise what is going on:
"We're in a miniscope!"
Jo needs a bit more of an explanation than that, and so do the viewers at home, so it goes on with
Doctor: "Well haven't you ever been to the zoo? Have you never kept goldfish in a bowl?"
Jo: "Well, yes, but that's slightly different, we're not animals."
Doctor: "We are to those creatures up there, Jo. 'Roll up! Roll up! Roll up! And see these funny little creatures in their native 'abitat! Watch them go through their funny little tricks! Poke them with a stick and make 'em jump!'"
He puts on a funny voice for the last bit and ends up with a remarkably close approximation of what Vorg is like.


The Drashigs follow them even into the studio, one of them smashing through the wall like it's made of polystyrene, and the Doctor and Jo have to run away again. Jon Pertwee and Katy Manning do their best to make the chase exciting, but the more scenes with Drashigs there are the more it becomes obvious that they don't appear on screen at the same time as the mannys so as to avoid giving away that they're not as big and scary as they're being made out to be.

Their path blocked by a deep shaft, the Doctor and Jo need rope to climb down it, so they head back to the ship where they know there is plenty of it in the hold. No sooner have they picked up some rope when Major Daly and Harry come in and they have to hide from them (again). Harry spots Jo's foot so she gets captured (again), but the Dr remains hidden. A Drashig bursts in through the wall (again, although a different wall) and knocks the Doctor out.


Having heard its rars, Harry and his mannys run in and shoot at it. We do actually get to see them and the Drashig in the same shot, which must have been terribly expensive. Worth every penny though - all the BBC moneys are up there on the screen. This bit is probably what gave Barry Letts the confidence to do Invasion of the Dinosaurs for the following season.

The guns are ineffective (get used to that, Harry) so Harry runs off to get some "dynamite," while Major Daly gets a ratatat gun with which to ratatat the Drashig. Harry throws the dynamite at another Drashig as it is about to come in through the hole, but when it explodes it also damages the miniscope, which Vorg and Shirna see from the outside - "a general power failure," says Shirna.

Jo is still on the ship from when she got captured, and she witnesses Harry and the other mannys forget all about her even when in the same room as her.
"Who are you?"
asks Harry, to which Jo replies
"Here we go again."
(again). She gets annoyed at them not being able to remember her and runs away.

The Doctor gets back into the machine with the rope so is able to progress with the adventure: use ROPE on SHAFT. At the bottom of the shaft he finds another metal panel, and this one lets him out of the miniscope. The cliffhanger is a tiny Doctor walking out of the machine and collapsing, the two strands of the plot finally properly intersecting for the first time.

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