I has ribbon!

I love my ribbon; it has rainbow stripes so it reminds me of me.

Here I am rolling on the sofa laughing and playing with my ribbon.

I am a happy cat!

The Sulk of Cthulhu

Why are there no decent films with me in them?

Dracula gets films made about him all the time, but I don't. I know not all of them are good, like that one with Gary Oldman in it (he's not Old, I'm Old, you mortals don't know the meaning of the word) which was terrible. But there are still lots more films about him, and vampires in general, than about me, and I'm a Great Old One. Not only can I come back from the dead at least as well as Dracula, but I'm much harder to kill in the first place - I laugh at such things as sunlight, garlic, religious symbols, you name it - anything he's vulnerable to, I'm, not. The only thing I don't like is the stars not being right...

So, mortals, if you wish me to spare you when the stars are right, make some films with me in them. And make sure they're not awful - that's important too. They can be insane if you like, after all, anyone who watches them will have to lose D100 points of sanity. Just as you will now, if you please...

The Prisoner Challenge: Dance of the Dead

An appropriate episode for this time of year, Dance of the Dead is set around the time of the Village's carnival, when the villagers dress up in costumes and celebrate with a big party at the Town Hall.

But there are sinister goings-on at this carnival, orchestrated by the chillingly ruthless, enigmatic Number 2, wonderfully played by Mary Morris. A dark counterpoint to Leo McKern's portrayal in his episodes, her Number 2 seems to enjoy the power of being "the boss," the parodying of democracy and the battle of wills against Number 6.

I am inclined to agree with the Anorak when he suggests that, although broadcast eighth, this should have been the second episode of the series. Number 6 still seems to be new to the Village and, aside from outright stating "I'm new here" to his maid, he still resists being addressed as "Number 6" (e.g. by the Village postman) and is unfamiliar with parts of the Village (e.g. the Town Hall) in ways not seen since Arrival.

If this had been episode 2, it would have been the first time we would have seen the opening dialogue between Number 6 and Number 2, and I think it is interesting to note the small, subtle difference between Mary Morris's lines and those of other Number 2s: she only says "information..." twice, not three times and, perhaps more significantly, gives a sinister chuckle before saying "You are Number 6." Of course it may not be significant at all...

Although in the chronological order of events this episode should clearly come earlier than it does, I think it makes a certain kind of sense when viewed in this order. In a number of the episodes I have already covered, including Chimes of Big Ben, Schizoid Man and Many Happy Returns, the viewer could be fooled into thinking Number 6 will escape the Village at the end. Having watched this episode, it is clear that it is never going to be that simple.

Although the stated goal of the Village is to get "information" from Number 6, here we see clearly for the first time something that will be crucial by the time we come to the series finale - that the Village wants Number 6 to come over to their side.

The opening scene of the episode sees one of Number 2's interrogators (a 'doctor') trying to get information from Number 6. But Number 2 stops him and says "I don't want him broken. He must be won over. It may seem a long process to your practical mind, but this man has a future with us."

Locked into his house for the night, Number 6 jumps down from the window and makes his way onto the beach. He is observed and Rover is summoned. It doesn't smother him this time, but it does threaten him and prevents him from getting any further.

"He'll eventually go back to his room. It's the only place he can ever go," Number 2 tells her cat.

Having spent the night sleeping on the beach, Number 6 wakes up to find a man's body washed ashore nearby him. In his pocket Number 6 finds a miniature radio set, which is still working.

Number 6 gets some evidence of the Village, along with a note he writes, places them on the dead body and sets it back into the sea, hoping for its discovery. After doing this he meets a man called Dutton and they recognise each other from before either of them were taken to the Village. Dutton has been in the Village for longer than Number 6 and he is convinced they will soon kill him while trying to get information from him - information he doesn't have.

"There will be music, dancing, happiness, all at the carnival... by order."

While most villagers have costumes that are elaborate and themed on historical or fictional characters (Caesar, Napoleon, Peter Pan, Little Bo Peep, etc.) Number 6's costume, provided by the Village, is his own tuxedo and thus mundane by comparison.

The carnival is, I find, one of the hardest scenes to watch in all of The Prisoner, and is by far the most effective demonstration of the absolute power of the Village and the magnitude of the opposing force that Number 6 is up against.

Most of this comes from the dialogue, for instance when Number 2 arrives at the carnival:

"What, no dancing? Tonight's for dancing... amongst other things."

Amazingly sinister.

"Why haven't I a costume?" Number 6 asks Number 2 (she is dressed as Peter Pan).

"Perhaps because you don't exist," she replies.

Number 6 takes the opportunity of being in the Town Hall to sneak away from the carnival crowd and have a look around, donning a labcoat and glasses as a disguise. He intercepts a "termination order" (in white letters on black paper, very melodramatic) for Dutton.

He wanders around empty rooms with only the automatic doors and lights for company. This quiet scene builds up the suspense for what happens next.

When he finds the body he last saw when he put it into the sea, Number 2 (and the cat) enter. She tells Number 6 that the body will be "amended" to resemble Number 6.

"So in the outside world..." "which you only dream about..." "I'll be dead."

Number 6 is put on trial, charged with possession of an unlawful radio set - the one he took from the body. In this open mockery of a court, Number 2 is defending him. She does not attempt to disprove the charge, only pleads for clemency from the judges (three judges, no jury, "like in the French Revolution").

Number 6 tries to call Dutton as a "character witness" but when Number 2 brings Dutton in he is dressed as a fool and appears to have had his mind destroyed. He can't say anything at all, never mind help defend Number 6. It is a chilling and brutal demonstration of what they are capable of.

Number 6 is found guilty by the judges. "The sentence is death." Number 6 runs away and the screaming mob of villagers pursue him to carry out the sentence. Number 6 evades them but, once again, is found by Number 2.

"Why are they trying to kill me?" he asks.

"They don't know you're already dead; locked up in the long box in that little room."

What she is saying is that the man Number 6 was outside the Village is dead. From now on he is only Number 6. The episode ends abruptly, to the sound of Number 2's mocking laughter.

Next: Checkmate

The Prisoner Challenge: Many Happy Returns

Many Happy Returns is one of the most interesting episodes of The Prisoner. The first time I saw it I was gripped all the way through, because even though I knew I was less than half-way through the series it looks very much as if Number 6 has escaped from the Village.

Note: I would say this episode is particularly vulnerable to being spoiled if you know what happens in it, so if you haven't seen it yet then you read on at your own risk.

The episode starts with Number 6 waking up to find the Village abandoned, so he is free to do what he wants with nobody else there to get in his way.

Big Gay Longcat says: except for the cat! The cat is still there!

Number 6 immediately attempts to escape, as you would expect. He makes a raft, and takes photographs of the Village before he goes (these days this scene reminds me of myself taking photos of Portmeirion when I was there on holiday) as proof of its existence.

While sailing the raft he keeps a careful log so he can trace his way back to the Village. When at least 18 days have passed Number 6 passes out and then the raft is found by some sailors, who take his food and things from the raft and toss Number 6 overboard.

But he gets on board their boat and finds out they are German-speaking arms smugglers. In the days of the Cold War, of course, Germans could come from either side of the Iron Curtain so Number 6 still doesn't know which side of it he's on.

After distracting them with smoke from a fire so he can take them on one at a time, Number 6 gets control of the boat. As it approaches land, they get free and struggle with Number 6. When one of them pulls a gun Number 6 jumps overboard to get away.

He makes it ashore and then wanders around until he finds some people - gypsies who don't speak any English. Unable to communicate with them, Number 6 moves on.

He finally gets confirmation he is in Britain when he sees a British policeman, but as they are a symbol of authority (which his time in the Village has taught him to be wary of) Number 6 decides on discretion and avoids them. He hides in the back of a van and this takes him to London.

Having finally escaped from the Village and made it back to London, what does he do? He goes home - to the house we see him get gassed in every episode in the title sequence.

But somebody else lives there now.

His car (again, the one from the titles) pulls up and Mrs Butterworth gets out. After convincing her he knows about the car she invites him in. Obviously her living room looks just like Number 6's house in the Village - that's what it was modelled on, after all.

He gives his name as "Peter Smith." Mrs Butterworth believes he is in some kind of trouble and she gives him a change of clothes and a lend of the car. His old car. The scene that follows echoes the title sequence precisely - the car follows the same route Number 6 travelled to his resignation; he enters the same room.

Thorpe and 'The Colonel' are skeptical of Number 6 when he tells them of the Village and shows them his photographs of it. Thorpe calls it a "holiday resort" which is something of a fourth-wall breaking statement (these days, if not necessarily at the time the episode was made).

"You resign. You disappear. You return. You spin a yarn that Hans Christian Andersen would reject for a fairytale," Thorpe sums up their view. But his story checks out along the line as far as it can be checked, and they begin hunting for the location of the Village using his log.

If correct it puts the Village "Coast of Morocco, south-west of Portugal and Spain," as the Colonel puts it.

That is the best they can do from London with what Number 6 has supplied them with. The next step is to fly over this area and look for the Village from the air. Number 6 keeps a look out and navigates while a pilot does the actual flying. But then when they sight the Village the pilot says "Be seeing you" and ejects Number 6 from the plane, landing him on the beach.

Big Gay Longcat says: the cat watches him return to the Village.

I think the cat is in charge. He is Number 1 Cat.

Mrs Butterworth, revealed as Number 2, comes in with a cake and wishes Number 6 "Many happy returns." It is his birthday.

It would appear that the location of the Village is revealed in this episode. But is it? Certainly the events of Fall Out show it can't be off the "coast of Morocco" and we have already had one red herring as to the location of the Village in The Chimes of Big Ben.

I am of the opinion that the Village was in control of the situation throughout this episode, and so they could easily have led Number 6, through their usual combination of drugs and brainwashing, to put the location of the Village at wherever they chose to.

But if we take The Prisoner at the higher levels of sci-fi that it seems to operate at in episodes such as The General, or the allegorical level it comes to in Fall Out, then there are other explanations.

There could be several Villages, identical in all respects (except, perhaps, the people in them - hence the interchangeable individuals occupying certain Numbers), throughout the world - one in Lithuania, one off the cost of Morocco, one in Kent, one in North Wales, etc. Number 6 could be moved between them while asleep (drugged, naturally).

Or perhaps the Village can move around. After all, "anything's possible in this place," as Number 6 remarks in The General. Or perhaps the Village can be anywhere because it is everywhere. Who knows?

"All I know is there's no escape."

Aside from the question of whether or not Number 6 has discovered the Village's location, there is also, arising from Many Happy Returns, the question of just how in control of the situation Number 2 and the Village were?

They seemingly allowed Number 6 the freedom to do whatever he wanted - it must have been obvious to them he would have tried to escape the Village as quickly as he could. But after that? Did they take steps to ensure he took a certain course of action, or did they just predict - with frightening accuracy - exactly what he would do?

Both questions are not answered explicitly in the series and so are up to the individual viewer's interpretation. In this respect I would say Many Happy Returns is the most ambiguous episode prior to Fall Out (though that one leads the field by a mile).

My interpretation is that the Village must have known exactly what Number 6 would do, so placed Mrs Butterworth/Number 2 in his house so that he would, to all intents and purposes, run straight to her.

And then at the end, with the ease with which they put him back in the Village, this is a demonstration of their power - the extent of their control and their reach. In this respect it is similar to Free For All, but I find this episode much more effective because, right up to the point at which he is ejected from the plane, Number 6 is in control of his own actions but he still plays right into their hands.

This is an excellent episode, and although subsequent viewings cannot quite live up to how good I thought it was the first time I saw it, that's the greatest criticism I can think of.

Next: Dance of the Dead

The Prisoner Challenge: The General

"Best of luck with your exams."

This is the second appearance of Colin Gordon as Number 2, so introduces the concept that Number 2 does not have to be different in every episode. As it happens this is also his last appearance, and, of the other Number 2's, only Leo McKern will make a return appearance.

But I do think it is significant to have the idea that a Number 2 can come back, since, as we never see one Number 2 replace another (except - kind of - in It's Your Funeral), it would otherwise be very easy to assume they are disposed of permanently, like a James Bond villain's henchman.

Anyway, The General has a confusing but sinister beginning which introduces the Professor, John Castle's Number 12, and the General (named but not yet revealed, just like the name-checking of the General - no reason to suppose it is not the same one - in Schizoid Man).

"A great man, the Professor - treats lectures as though his life depended on it."

Number 6 gets involved with the Professor, the General and the 'Speedlearn' project seemingly by chance (although does anything happen by chance in the Village?) and forms an alliance with Number 12, even though neither trusts the other, at least to begin with.

This is the first time the plot of the episode has not centred around Number 6 and his relationship with Number 2 and the Village. Indeed, several episodes - such as Free For All, Schizoid Man, and Many Happy Returns - give me the impression that the Village may only exist for Number 6's benefit.

Here this is clearly not the case, as Number 2 finds Number 6's interference in Speedlearn unwelcome, and it is not a trap. Not a trap for Number 6, at least.

Number 6 doesn't know who or what the General is, and his initial guess - that the Professor's wife is the General - is wrong. But when he goes into the Professor's house and smashes his head to reveal the Professor is not a real person but a construction of his wife, Number 6 is right.

Because obviously a sculptor would be able to create something that looks and acts like a real person...

Unless I'm missing something then this scene is a cheat - it is not explained how Number 6 reaches the conclusion of what the Professor is - but as a shock and surprise to the audience it does work.

At Number 12's urging, Number 6 tries to swap the real Speedlearn lecture for a call to freedom made by the errant Professor during an abortive escape bid.

Infiltrating the project disguised as an undertaker in sunglasses, Number 6 is caught at the last moment.

Realising Number 6 must have had help to get in, Number 2 takes Number 6 and Number 12 to see the General - a supercomputer that, according to Number 2, "can answer any question put to it." The question Number 2 wants to ask is who is the traitor that helped Number 6?

But before it is put to the General, Number 6 has a question that he says can't be answered by the General and Number 2, wanting to prove him wrong, lets Number 6 enter it first. It causes the machine to go wrong and both the Professor and Number 12 are killed trying to stop the General blowing itself up. The question:

"Why?"

I think The General hasn't dated well. I will try and explain why - in this episode there are three science fiction concepts all existing side-by-side:

1. The 'speedlearn' process, here being used to give people subliminal history lessons, but its potential use for brainwashing is obvious and cleverly understated in the episode.

2. The Professor himself, some kind of robot or artificial man made by his wife - the hows and whys of this are never made clear - Number 6 just seems to accept them and so I guess we are supposed to as well. I'm really not sure what the point of this sub-plot is, though.

3. The General - only revealed in the last few minutes and disposed of just as quickly. It's all very well for Captain Kirk to trick supercomputers into blowing themselves up in Star Trek, because they were always the advanced technology of an alien world, but here in The Prisoner it's just too implausible for me to accept.

So the speedlearn plot is the core of the story and works really well - the repetition of the rote-learned/subliminally implanted facts about European history that all the villagers know is well presented, and we are left in no doubt what the Village could use the project for when it is perfected.

But the other two sub-plots are, to me, two sci-fi concepts too far and they detract from the episode as a whole by being less believable than the speedlearn - they feel as though they belong to a different level of plausibility, more fantastic than how the episode - and perhaps the series so far - was up to this point.

Not one of my favourites.

Next: Many Happy Returns

Atop the Talisman Tower, Dread Cthulhu Blogs...

Hello again. Today you find me standing in for my old friend the Dragon King, malevolent ruler of the realms of Talisman. My job is to kill any bold adventurers that dare to challenge my Strength or Craftiness. Not really any different from my usual job, then, except that I'm doing it from atop the Talisman Tower instead of under the sea in black R'lyeh.

Oh look, here comes a Chaos Dwarf who thinks he has what it takes to oppose Mighty Cthulhu. I've got to go, but before I do will you please lose D100 points of Sanity...

The Prisoner Challenge: The Schizoid Man

Anton Rodgers as Number 2.

One of the most convoluted and, in some ways, nastiest of the Village's plans to break Number 6, the very first scene of the episode plants the seeds of its undoing - the injuring of Number 6's fingernail and the photo that preserves it for Number 6 to see later.

After this - seemingly trivial for now - scene, we see a montage as their plan is set up. It only hints to us, the viewers, as to what is going on, and we become familiar with the plan only as Number 6 does.

Number 6 wakes up, supposedly just the next day, and he has a full grown mustache. He is in Number 12's house and everyone seems to recognise him as Number 12. Number 2 then briefs him - as Number 12 - on the plan for him to impersonate the 'real' Number 6.

The fake Number 6 - in a white blazer so we can tell them apart - doesn't take long to arrive.

The split-screen is very impressive as McGoohan plays against himself.

Due to the little things they've changed the real Number 6 is thrown, especially with is own handedness having been changed from right to left. Being forced to use his 'off-hand' the real Number 6 loses to his opponent at shooting and fencing. The fake Number 6 is very smug about this.

With both of them claiming to be Number 6 we find - for the first time - that Number 6 is insisting he is Number 6, when in other circumstances he has rejected a number of any sort. Could it be that this plan has a chance of succeeding against Number 6 by undermining him in this way?

After the stunt with Number 24 and her 'ESP' - clearly she is a plant by the Village and part of this plan - Number 6 begins to crack and it very much looks like their plan is having the desired effect on him.

But when he sees the bruise on his fingernail has moved up the nail Number 6 realises it cannot have been one night that passed. He begins to remember their brainwashing of him. The photo confirms his suspicions and the switched insides of the cigarettes and cigars adds further evidence.

The Village's plan unravels, and then Number 6 takes steps to cure the 'left-handed' conditioning - he deliberately electrocutes himself. Don't fuck with Number 6. Now it's time for him to turn the tables on them.

He goes to the fake Number 6 and pretends to be cracking up, but this is just a ruse to get close enough to him. Number 6 overpowers him and finds out the password and the fake Number 6's name - Curtis - so that he can take his identity.

When they encounter Rover together, Number 6 gives the password first and Curtis is too slow, so Rover pursues and smothers him, killing him. Now pretending to be Curtis, Number 6 tells Number 2 that Number 6 is dead.

"He's dead. Rover got him." (This is actually the first time 'Rover' is named as such on screen. We don't find out how Number 6 found this out.)

Number 2 responds by ordering "Control Room - deactivate Rover immediately... pending further instruction."

Number 6 plays the part of Curtis pretty coolly, doing his best not to give away the fact that he lacks knowledge of a lot of things the real Curtis would have known, but he lets a couple of things slip.

This is enough to make Number 2 suspicious, even as they head together to the helicopter that will take 'Curtis' away from the Village, and he tests Number 6 by mentioning 'Susan' and asking Curtis to give her his regards.

The helicopter takes off with Number 6 on it, but it lands back in the Village and he is met by Number 2.

"Susan died a year ago, Number 6."

This is one of my favourite episodes of The Prisoner. It is tightly plotted and very well acted by McGoohan (in both his roles) and Anton Rodgers. The Village plan is quite complex but not difficult to follow (and the two Number 6's are colour coded for our convenience WARNING: TV Tropes Wiki link), and it is a neat reversal to see Number 6 insisting for once that he is a number.

Next: The General

The Prisoner Challenge: Free For All

So the plot of this one is very simple: Number 2 (played by Eric Portman) persuades Number 6 to run in an election against him. It's a trick.

"Elections... in this place?"

Although it seems obvious that Number 6 is being set up for something, and the entire scene has been carefully stage-managed by Number 2/the Village, Number 6 is visibly taken aback when villagers instantly produce placards with his face and number on them.

This cleverly mirrors the moment at the beginning of the scene when Number 2 appeared instantly at Number 6's door after being challenged to come to him if Number 2 wanted to talk.

Of course the election is a sham, and it becomes clear that every part of it is controlled by Number 2 and the people that run the Village. The journalist that interviews Number 6 gets "no comment" in answer to his questions, but responds by just making up soundbites.

The newspaper is then instantly produced. "No. 6 Speaks His Mind" is the headline. By this point they're not even trying to pretend the election is genuine - they are showing Number 6 the extent of their power and control.

Eventually they brainwash Number 6 into acting like a model candidate, making speeches full of empty rhetoric and that sort of thing, but he recovers. When he throws it off he panics - perhaps realising what he has let himself in for - and goes on the run, steals a speedboat and has to be stopped by Rover.

They brainwash him again and his speeches sound more like the Village party line, basically indistinguishable from the sort of things Number 2 might say. But he is very popular, while Number 2 is not.

The conditioning seems to make him unstable, and he goes in quest of a drink, finding an illicit still where Number 2 is having a real alcoholic drink in secret. But the 'drink' is, to Number 6, just more drugs - enough to take him through to the end of the election.

When Number 6 wins (unanimously) 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow' plays as the background music as Number 2 takes him up to the Green Dome to hand over power to him.

Number 6 is still drugged and his first action as the boss of the Village is to play with the buttons in the control room, making the electric chairs go up and down for a bit.

That's understandable though, really, isn't it?

Throughout the episode Number 6 has been accompanied in his electioneering by his non-English-speaking maid, Number 58, and she is present in the control room. When Number 6 is entranced by the hypnotic pattern on the wall she snaps him out of it - and the drugged state he's in - by slapping him repeatedly.

Coming to his senses, Number 6 just has time to use the control panel to order the villagers free before heavies arrive to subdue him. Suffice to say, his orders are not carried out. He's not in charge here.

Number 58 has assumed the role of Number 2, and now speaks perfect English. Yes, the whole thing was a trick. Who'd have though it?

I'm not that keen on this episode. Nothing much happens in it that isn't the Village displaying its absolute power and total control to Number 6, all the while making a mockery of the democratic process of free elections.

Perhaps this was a bold statement at the time this was made and first broadcast, but it seems a bit too obvious to me that a dictatorship can control the outcome of an election - and that is the only statement this story is making.

I think it could have been better if Number 6 had not spent most of the episode being drugged into playing his part in proceedings, and if the story had been about him being manipulated every step of the way, his every action - taken with his free will intact - still leading to the outcome they wanted.

But that's just speculation on my part. As it is, I'm not really impressed. The drugging and brainwashing of Number 6 is overused here, and it diminishes the impact of events when they can basically make Number 6 do whatever they like. Other episodes see Number 6 drugged and conditioned, but use it much more effectively.

Next: The Schizoid Man

Kitten!

There are lots of pictures of kittens on the internets, but this is a picture of my friend Kitten.