Expensive Luxury Cat strikes! ...like Thunderball

Big Gay Longcat and Expensive Luxury Cat review James Bond: Thunderball

The fourth expensive luxury James Bond film, made in 1965, was the most successful yet, and had an enormous influence on the films that followed it, arguably creating the template that many later Bond films would go on to copy to a greater or lesser extent. I mean, 1983's Never Say Never Again is practically a remake!

These days, overshadowed by some of these later films that do what it does, only better, Thunderball is mainly remembered as the source of a lawsuit between the film's producers that kept the makers of Bond from using the character of Blofeld and the organisation of SECTRE for many years. Given what happened when they did eventually return to the film franchise, this is something we should all be very grateful for, mew.

Thunderball starts with a pre-titles sequence where Bond is at a funeral, then goes straight off to have a fight with the manny who was supposed to be ded but is really in disguise as a lady.

After killing him, Bond escapes through the air using an implausible jetpack and some rear projection (of the kind they used to use back before Barry Letts invented CSO) until he reaches his car, where he squirts the other baddys chasing him with water, which dissolves into the title sequence as well as foreshadowing the film's heavy water theme.

This may be controversial, but in our opinion this has the best theme song of the films so far. If you don't agree then you are entitled to your opinion, but you are wrong.

In Paris (which we can tell because, in accordance with French law, we can see the Eiffel Tower in the background) we see Adolfo Celi as Largo, the film's main baddy. He has an eyepatch for no reason, and is here to meet with SECTRE Number One, returning From Russia With Love, so that they can start the main plot.

Number One has Number Nine electriced in his chair for embezzling from them, which is an iconic (as well as much-parodied) scene. Largo is revealed to be SECTRE's new Number Two and he starts to explain their plan for the film to us under the cover of giving the exposition to the other SECTRE numbers.

Speaking of Number Twos, their agent Count Lippe is played by Guy Doleman, the first Number Two we saw in the Village. He is at the same health resort as Bond, who suspects he is a baddy and so starts investigating him.

A manny with a bandaged face spots Bond snooping, and then tries to kill him in a health resort-themed way. Bond gets rescued, and then - in possibly his sleaziest moment yet across any of the films - he sexually harasses the manny who just rescued him. She doesn't seem to mind that much, so I think we are supposed to assume this makes it all fine.

A manny called Major Duval gets killed by another manny who looks just like him. The double then makes the mistaik of wanting more money from SECTRE to go on impersonating Duval. Fiona Volpe is Count Lippe's superior, and she pretends to go along with it for now, but the fake Duval's moments are clearly now as numbered as a real SECTRE agent.

Bond sees Lippe taking the body of the real Duval into the health resort to replace the bandaged manny, and does more snooping to see the manny's face. Lippe is about to shoot him when Bond knocks him out with a telephone.

The fake Duval goes on an aeroplane carrying "two atomic bombs" where he gasses the other mannys and steals it and, more importantly, the bombs. He flies the 'plane over Largo's ship the Disco Volante ("Flying Saucer") and then lands it on the water, where it sinks to the bottom. Largo sends his mannys out from his ship to the 'plane, and one of them (it may even be Largo himself, but one of the downsides of all the underwater scenes in this film is that it is frequently hard to tell mannys apart) cuts the fake Duval's breathing tube so he goes

They take the bombs off and give them to Largo's pet mad scientist Professor Kutze, played by George Pravda, best known as Castellan Spandrell in Doctor Who's The Deadly Assassin but most recently seen by us in The Mutants where he played another baddy's pet mad scientist.

Number One doesn't just want the fake Duval killed, he also wants Lippe killed for choosing poorly. Lippe is following Bond in his car and shooting at him when a motorbike drives up and blows up Lippe's car, killing him and at the same time allowing Bond to escape unharmed. This the James Bond equivalent of that bit in Star Wars where the Imperial gunner doesn't blow up the escape pod with C3PO and R2D2 in it. If SECTRE hadn't killed Lippe right now then he might have prevented everything that follows from taking place the way it does.

Lippe's assassin is shown to us (but not to Bond) to be Fiona Volpe, demonstrating that she is a dangerous killer as well as a SECTRE agent.

Bond must find himself in random encounters like this all the time, since he scarcely thinks of it again save for a quick quip to Miss Moneypenny when he arrives at M's office.

Bond gets his briefing in the conference room where there are nine seats for nine 00 agents (who may, or may not, be doomed to die). M plays them the tape that Number One has sent to the Prime Minister:

"My dear Prime Minister, two atomic bombs, numbers 456 and 457, which were aboard NATO flight 759, are now in the possession of SpECTRE [spic]. Unless within the next seven days your government pays to us £100,000,000 sterling, in a manner to be designated by us, we shall destroy a major city in England or the United States of America. Please signal your acceptance of our terms by arranging for Big Ben to strike seven times at six o'clock tomorrow."

We've already established that James Bond and Thunderball were a big influence on aspects of The Prisoner, but I wonder how deep it goes - could this bit have been the inspiration for the episode The Chimes of Big Ben?

M says this mission is "codename Thunderball." Clang!

Bond sees a photo of Duval as part of the briefing and realises that he has already been involved in the plot of this film since the start. He tells M about it and gets himself assigned to go to Nassau where Duval's sister Domino lives.

The film wastes no time, and cuts immediately to Bond finding Domino and rescuing her when she gets her foot stuck during some underwater filming. He pretends his own boat is borked so that she will give him a ride... in her own boat, lol. Naughty Bond.

Bond goes to a casino where he sees Domino and Largo playing Baccarat - the most expensive and luxury of all card games. Bond joins in and wins. He says to Largo

"I thought I shaw a shpectre at your shoulder"

"What do you mean?"

"The shpectre of defeat."

This is Bond's way of subtly letting Largo know that he is a secret agent and so should only be killed by placing him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death. I'd make a joke about Largo's asking Bond "what do you mean?" simply being due to him not understanding Bond's accent, but Adolfo Celi is hardly in a position to take the high ground there. This bit ends with Largo inviting Bond to visit his house, setting up a later scene.

Another sinister-looking manny has been following Bond about, but it is only Felix Leiter, who is once again such a master of disguise that they had to get in a different actor to play him.

Largo sends a henchmanny to kill Bond in his hotel room, but Bond surprises him with a soaking in the shower and beats him easily, then sends him back to Largo telling him "the little fish I throw back into the shea." When the henchmanny gets to Largo's house and tells him what happened, Largo keeps the metaphor going by throwing him into his shark pool where the "little fish" becomes shark noms.

Bond rushed off to Nassau in such a hurry that there wasn't time for a scene with Q before he left, so Q has to come out on location "in the field" to give Bond some gadgets. Bond actually says "oh no" when he sees Q, which is the exact opposite reaction to us cats, because the scenes with Q in them are already establishing themselves as lovely little bits of comic relief.

Bond swims underneath Largo's ship where he has a knife fight with a baddy. Largo sees him and gets his chief henchmanny to throw grenades at Bond, and then some of his other mannys to chase Bond in a little boat of their own.

Bond escapes from them and then he meets Fiona Volpe when she gives him a ride... in her car, lol. Naughty Bond. She drives very fast for no reason, although it is perfectly safe because they are obviously using rear projection.

Bond spots her SECTRE ring, which is a bit of a giveaway that she is a baddy. But she doesn't try to kill Bond or anything, and instead just takes him back to his hotel.

The next day Bond takes Largo up on the offer to visit his house, and they have a shooting contest where Bond shows off his leet shooting skillz. That night, Bond arranges for a power cut at Largo's house and uses it to sneak back in. He follows Professor Kutze to a secret room where he sees more clues. A manny catches Bond while he is trying to sneak back out and they both fall into the shark pool. The sharks nom the other manny so Bond gets away.

Bond gets back to his hotel room and finds Fiona Volpe waiting for him with naughtiness on her mind. Naughty Fiona Volpe! After they are dressed again, Largo's henchmannys come in and capture Bond. Fiona Volpe has clearly watched the last two Bond films and knows about what happened with Tatiana Romanova and Pussy Galore, because she says

"James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman, and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents, and turns to the side of right and virtue... but not this one!"

They take Bond away in their car, but he escapes into a crowded festival scene. The henchmannys shoot after him, and injure his leg, but he still gets away and forces them to hunt for him through the crowds. This is quite a tense scene (although not a patch on the equivalent scene in On Her Majesty's Secret Service) with Bond wounded, outnumbered and outgunned.

They catch up to him in a club where Fiona Volpe meets Bond on the dance floor. One of the henchmannys shoots her by mistaik, and Bond quips

"Do you mind if my friend shitsh thish one out? She's jusht dead."

And with Fiona Volpe ded, it is just sort of assumed that Bond easily gets away from the rest of the henchmannys because the film doesn't even bother to show it.

The next day Bond and Felix at last find the 'plane, where Largo hid it under some camouflage netting. With proof that her brother is ded, Bond goes looking for Domino. He tells her the plot of the film so far and then asks her to help him. Largo's chief henchmanny Vargas tries to sneak up on Bond but Domino warns him (thus signalling she is now completely on Bond's side) so he shoots Vargas with a harpoon, then makes one of the all-time classic Bond quips:

"I think he got the point."

Domino tells Bond about a secret location of Largo's, so Bond goes to investigate it. He finds Largo's diving equipment, and waits to follow him and his mannys when they arrive and all go in the water. They go to a secret underwater lair where the atomic bombs have been hidden. Despite looking exactly like all of the other underwater mannys in his disguise, Largo somehow recognises Bond and sends his other mannys to chase him.

Back on his ship, Largo catches Domino trying to use the geiger counter Bond gave her. He is about to torture her to find out how much she knows (or rather, how much Bond knows) when Professor Kutze interrupts.

Felix rescues Bond by helicopter. Now they know where the bombs are, this leads in to the final act as Bond and Felix send* their allies (all in orange so we can at least tell the two sides apart) to fight Largo's black-clad baddys in a great big underwater battle. I hope you like watching mannys shoot at each other with harpoons, because this goes on for a long time, although at one point an octopus looks like it joins in by attacking a baddy - foreshadowing for Octopussy perhaps?

Bond chases Largo back to the Disco Volante, which is itself being chased by ships on the side of the goodys.

Largo leaves the back of his ship behind so that the front part can get away faster, and the back half soon gets blowed up. The front half still has one atomic bomb on board, but Kutze has switched sides (I think after having finally noticed that he was on the side of the baddys), he deactivates the bomb and releases Domino from her imprisonment.

Bond gets on to the bridge and has a fistfight with Largo and the last remaining henchmannys. Largo is about to shoot Bond when Domino shoots Largo first. The ship is now out of control and going implausibly fast (I suspect they speeded up the camera for this) so Bond, Domino and Kutze have to jump overboard before it hits land and explodes.

Bond and Domino get collected by a 'plane and are lifted into the air, the unconvincing rear projection taking us full circle.

Expensive Luxury Cat's rating: Expensive and Luxury

* Felix doesn't go in the water, showing that it is more than just his name that is cat-like.

10 more actors who could have played Number 2 in The Prisoner

This is a sequel to a previous blog post of mine from November 2016. The same criteria for selection applies here as before - as much as I would like to nominate all the main actors who starred in Blakes 7, it seems unlikely that they would have the profile to have been cast as a Number 2 when The Prisoner was being made over 10 years earlier... or would they?

In ascending order, here are 10 more actors who could have (maybe even should have) played Number 2 for an episode of The Prisoner. Any and all of whom would have made a better go of it than John "A Change of Mind" Sharp, as low a bar as that is.

#10. William Hartnell

William Hartnell was much more than just the first Doctor, he was a legitimate character actor of theatre and film. He left Doctor Who in October 1966 and sought other acting parts, and a villainous role in The Prisoner could have been just what he needed to shake off the spectre of typecasting. In reality, of course, he had few TV roles after 1966 due to his declining health, which is why I don't place him higher up this list.

#9. Alan Badel

Star of the BBC's astoundingly good 1964 adaptation of The Count of Monte Cristo, Alan Badel is probably best known as the Minister of the Interior in the 1973 film Dave the Jackal. He would have made a wonderful Number 2, but places low on this list only for the same reason as Anthony Hopkins did in my first list - he would have been better used as the faux-Number 6 in Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling. Better than Nigel Stock was, anyhow.

#8. Oliver Reed

Oliver Reed was already a film star by the late 1960s, but it is not impossible that he could have been lured to play a TV role opposite Patrick McGoohan, as he did make a pawful of guest appearances in another telefantasy series, The Saint. A couple of his greatest film roles came around this time - Bill Sykes in Oliver! (1968) and Ivan Dragomiloff in The Assassination Bureau (1969) - so hopefully he could have fitted The Prisoner into his schedule without us having to miss out on either of those.

#7. Robert Vaughn

I had David McCallum highly placed on my earlier list, so perhaps his Man From UNCLE co-star would also have made a good Number 2?

But wait, you know who would have been even better? Not Robert Vaughn, but Peter Vaughan.

The new #7. Peter Vaughan

Peter "Denethor" Vaughan had a long acting career, although he is probably still best known for playing Grouty in Porridge (1974-79). While he was rarely cast in leading role, in 1969 he did star in the series The Gold Robbers as main character DCS Craddock, so I think it reasonable to say his profile around that time may have been such that he could have been a Number 2.

#6. Earl Cameron

Aside from being in Danger Man no less than five times, Earl Cameron was already in The Prisoner, as the Supervisor in The Schizoid Man. Surely only a small step from there to the big round chair...

#5. Bernard Lee

While Bernard Lee was, of course, M in the James Bond films throughout the 1960s and '70s, he was also still making regular appearances on television and was frequently being cast in spy series, having been in an episode of Espionage in 1964, then two episodes of Danger Man with Patrick McGoohan, and then an episode of Man in a Suitcase (playing very much against his 'M'-type as a down-at-heel has-been trying to recapture some of his lost glory) at around the time The Prisoner was being made.

Seeing Bernard Lee in the position of Number 2 would have immediately drawn the audience into making associations with M and Bond, which could have made for a very interesting episode - is this M himself W-wording for the Village?

#4. Burt Kwouk

'You know, Harry, when I was in The Prisoner...'

Another face familiar from the Bond films of the '60s (and about a thousand other things besides) is Burt Kwouk. Having been in Danger Man three times, including the penultimate episode before McGoohan resigned, it's easy to imagine him being cast in The Prisoner, but whether the culture of the times would have permitted him to have such a significant part as Number 2 is another matter, sadly.

Personally, I'd like to hope that they could have been progressive enough to not only cast Burt Kwouk as Number 2, but in an episode that made no reference to his race or with any hint of the 'Yellow Peril' nonsense that was all too common in the 1960s, and for quite a while afterwards as well.

#3. Vladek Sheybal

Yet another actor familiar from Danger Man and James Bond is Vladek "Kronstein" Sheybal, although a better guide to how he might have played Number 2 in a different and interesting way can be found in his portrayal of psychiatrist Dr Jackson in UFO - particularly in earlier episodes such as Exposed where he is an enigmatic and even sinister outsider figure, before he settled into the more comfortable role of SHADO's pet mad scientist.

#2. Julian Glover

Long before he would go on to be the Bond villain Kristatos in For Your Eyes Only, or even his memorable turn as Scaroth, last of the Jagaroth, in Doctor Who's City of Death... In the late '60s Julian Glover was something of a telefantasy rent-a-baddy, with four appearances in The Avengers between 1965 and 1969, plus The Saint and The Champions on top of that.

With that in mind, how he managed to entirely avoid appearing alongside Patrick McGoohan in Danger Man or The Prisoner is something of a mystery, but there's no doubt in my mind that his brand of smooth villainy (as perfected by him by the time of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) would have made him ideal for Number 2.

#1. Jacqueline Pearce

Supreme Commander Servalan herself!

Until quite recently (guess what prompted this article?) I was under the impression that Jacqueline Pearce's TV roles in the 1960s were limited to small bit-parts, such as her earliest screen credit on her IMDB page "Jeannie" in the 1964 episode of Danger Man Don't Nail Him Yet, or the part of Marianne in 1966's Avengers episode A Sense of History. 

That was until I watched the episode of Man in a Suitcase called Somebody Loses, Somebody... Wins? This was first broadcast in early 1968 (so must have been filmed in 1967), in between the premiere showings of Once Upon a Time and Fall Out. In a plot very obviously influenced by John le Carré's The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, Jacqueline Pearce plays Ruth Klinger, a British double-agent in East Germany with a complicated history between her and the main character McGill (Richard Bradford). In order to preserve her cover with the East German police, Ruth is required to betray McGill.

After McGill himself (the only regular character in the series), Ruth is the second main character for the episode, and Pearce is wonderful in it - far more than just a romantic sidekick for McGill. Quite apart from looking almost exactly like she would when she first played Servalan 10 years later, some of the same mannerisms were already observable (see picture above). A treat for any Blakes 7 fan, but also proof - if proof be need be - that Jacqueline Pearce could easily have made a success of being Number 2 in The Prisoner.