Monkey Challenge: Pretty As A Picture

A pretty bonkers episode but one well in keeping with the Buddhist themes of Monkey. Pictures of the seven gods of good luck come to life and believe they are the real thing. One of them - thinking herself to be the beautiful goddess Sorosvati - gets away and the remaining six think it will be bad luck for the world if they do not number seven.

So Tripitaka has to stay and make up the numbers while Monkey goes to try and return the missing 'Sorosvati.' Matters are complicated when this fake goddess turns out to have a single magic power - the ability to make men fall in love with her - and works this on Pigsy, Sandy and Yu Lung (who fight each other for her) and then Monkey himself.

Monkey offers to stay behind with the other six gods to give Tripitaka and his new love both their freedom, but then the real Sorosvati intervenes. This is a Deus Ex Machina ending, but it makes a change that the Deus in question is not Monkey for once. It also helps give the story an air of authenticity, when I consider how many of the old Monkey stories finish with the intercession of gods, celestials or even Buddha.

250th post

I have been watching more Shakespeare recently.

Julius Caesar is not one of my favourites; there are no cats in it. There are dogs though. Mark Antony has dogs of war and he sets them on his enemies Brutus and Cassius. In the version I saw Cassius is played by David Collings who does the voice of Monkey and he was also in Doctor Who a few times.

Cassius is a manny who doesn't like Julius Caesar, because he thinks Julius Caesar want to be king. He teams up with Brutus and other mannys and they kill Julius Caesar. But Mark Antony was Julius Caesar's friend and when he finds out he says "Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;" then he turns the tables on Cassius and Brutus so they have to kill themselves.

The sequel to Julius Caesar is Antony and Cleopatra and I have seen it as well. I was a little bit confused because the version I saw had different mannys playing Antony and Octavius Caesar who are important characters in both stories, but not very confused because its really no different to Travis changing between seasons 1 and 2 of Blakes 7.

Mark Antony and Octavius Caesar were friends at the end of Julius Caesar, but in Antony and Cleopatra they fight each other because Antony wants to marry Queen Cleopatra so he can be a prince (I think - I'm not sure I followed all of the plot of this one), but Octavius wants Antony to marry his sister so they can be best friends.

Octavius wins the fights they have, and Antony and Cleopatra have to kill themselves, just like Cassius and Brutus did at the end of Julius Caesar.

They are both sad stories, but Antony and Cleopatra has one very funny scene. Antony comes back from Egypt and gets drunk with his friend Lepidus. Mannys always get very silly when drunk, and they are no exception. This is what they say to each other:

Lepidus: "What manner o' thing is your crocodile?"

Antony: "It is shaped, sir, like itself; and it is as broad

as it hath breadth: it is just so high as it is,

and moves with its own organs: it lives by that

which nourisheth it; and the elements once out of

it, it transmigrates."

Lepidus: "What colour is it of?"

Antony: "Of it own colour too."

Lepidus: "'Tis a strange serpent."

Antony: "'Tis so. And the tears of it are wet."

I have also been watching Colditz, which is a TV series about mannys trying to escape from a castle called Colditz. It is a bit like The Prisoner, except there are lots of prisoners trying to escape together.

Lots of famous mannys play characters in Colditz, including David McCallum, Edward Hardwicke, Robert Wagner, Paul Chapman (who was in Shakespeare) and Bernard Hepton. There are also lots of guest-stars that I recognise, including Patrick Troughton, Nigel Stock, Terence Hardiman, Kenneth Griffith (who was in The Prisoner) and Prentis Hancock.

Some of my favourite characters in Colditz are the baddys because they are played so well. In season 2 there is a new baddy, he is Major Mohn and is played by Anthony Valentine. But I don't just like the baddys, I like the goodys as well, especially Dick Player (Christopher Neame). My best episode in season 1 of Colditz is Name, Rank and Number, when we first see Dick Player. I have not seen all of season 2 yet but I hope to soon.

Big Gay Longcat reviews Daleks' Invasion Earth 2150 A.D.

Foreword by Duncan

Citizen Kane (1941), The Godfather (1972), Star Wars (1977), Transformers: The Movie (1986), Daleks’ Invasion Earth 2150 A.D. (1966). Five classic films that have stood the test of time and shaped our culture and our lives to such an extent that, if Monkey accepted Buddha’s challenge today and flew on his cloud to the end of the universe, the five pillars there would take the forms of Orson Welles, Marlon Brando, Darth Vader, Optimus Prime, and a Dalek.

How much has been written about these films in the years since they have been made? Essays, books, screeds of internet forum posts, whole libraries of text. But all of them, with hardly any exceptions, written by human beings. Big Gay Longcat has, so far, confined himself to reviewing only obscure TV shows and films, such as Blakes 7, Doctor Who, and Star Trek, which receive very little in the way of literary criticism, save only in obscure corners of the world wide web.

It is brave of him, a three-year-old cat made from a pair of stripy long socks, to take on such a challenge. I wish him well, and would like to thank him for giving me this opportunity, in writing this foreword, to give my own perspective on how this great film has touched my life and, perhaps, place it in some sort of context.

1988 was Doctor Who’s 25th anniversary year. I was 9 years old then, and playing at ‘Doctor Who’ was a popular playground pastime at my primary school. Thanks to some of the older children - friends or brothers of friends of mine - videos of the older stories (and older Doctors) were for the first time becoming available to us. So the Tetraps and Cleaners of Season 24 were slowly replaced, in our games, by Zygons and Robots of Death.

But there was one constant foe that the 9-year-old Doctor (and Harry and Tom and Sarah-Jane) would come up against time and again: Daleks!

This was thanks to my copy of Daleks’ Invasion Earth 2150 A.D, taped off the TV, by my parents, for me. I can’t tell you how many times I must have watched that film (this was over 20 years ago, after all), but it must have been almost as many times as we played those scenes over: the Robomen turning upon the Daleks; the bomb being deflected by heroic Tom Campbell (or sometimes by Harry Sullivan instead); the Daleks going out of control and loudly announcing that fact to all and sundry.

Of course later that same year we got a TV story that would prove to be even more popular in the playground than any other, even my beloved Daleks’ Invasion Earth 2150 A.D. But not to worry, because it too starred the Daleks, and what Daleks! The 25th anniversary year of Doctor Who was a golden age for the series at my primary school, and it is that time that I always think of when I think of Daleks’ Invasion Earth 2150 A.D.

Perhaps this is the best way to view classic films such as this - through a nostalgic haze (or the proverbial ‘rose-tinted spectacles’)? Well maybe looking at the film through the googly eyes of a big, gay, long cat will give us a fresh perspective…

Review by Big Gay Longcat

This film is the sequel to Dr. Who and the Daleks. It stars Peter Cushing as Dr Who, with Bernard Cribbins as Tom Campbell, Roberta Tovey as Susan and Jill Curzon as Louise.

It starts with a manny in a car. He is waiting for something but we don't know what - already there is a mystery. Bernard Cribbins appears, maybe the manny was waiting for him?

The manny attacks Bernard Cribbins and knocks him down. There is an explosion! Two more mannys run out and get in the car with the other manny and they drive away. Bernard Cribbins chases them but they are too fast for him because they are in a car.

Bernard Cribbins sees TARDIS and runs to it for help. He is surprised to find that it is bigger on the inside and he faints. Dr Who makes TARDIS disappear - they have taken Bernard Cribbins with them. Cue titles!

Bernard Cribbins is playing Tom Campbell. Tom wakes up and Dr Who tells him they are in 2150AD. He introduces Susan and his niece Louise. Ian and Barbara are not in this film, so we have Tom and Louise instead.

Tom doesn't really believe they are in 2150AD until he goes outside and sees they are in a different place. A lot of bricks and things fall down and Tom saves Susan from being squashed, but it means they can't get back in to TARDIS.

Dr Who and Tom have to go and look for something to help them move all the rubbish. They go into a building and find a dead Roboman. Susan and Louise meet Wyler and they see a flying saucer before he takes them to the London Underground.

Dr Who and Tom meet more Robomen (alive ones this time). David tries to help them but a Dalek comes out of the river and they are captured.

Wow, I didn't expect a Dalek to be there. It is less than 14 minutes into the film before a Dalek appears, this story has really got going fast.

In the secret Underground base Susan and Louise meet Dortmun and find out about the Daleks when they hear them on the radio. They are trying to order all the mannys to obey them but Dortmun is not impressed: "Obey motorised dustbins? We'll see about that!"

Dortmun explains about the Daleks' invasion of Earth, the Robomen, and the Daleks' big mine in Bedfordshire (this will be important later on). David comes in and tells them that Dr Who and Tom have been caught and taken to the flying saucer.

At the flying saucer Dr Who, Tom and other mannys are prisoners. One of the mannys runs away but he is caught by the Daleks and steamed to death while the Daleks shout "Exterminate!"

The other prisoners go inside the spaceship. Dr Who, Tom and Craddock are put in a cell together. Dr Who uses Tom's comb to open the door and they escape. Except they are captured again straight away.

"Back in the cell?" Dr Who is sad at being caught after having been so clever.

The Daleks are going to turn them into Robomen. They are made to dress like Robomen first and are then put in a machine that will "robotise" them.

The rebels have a plan to attack the Daleks with David disguised as a Roboman. They get to the spaceship before a Dalek sees through his disguise, so he pushes the Dalek down a ramp and it explodes.

Daleks raise the alarm while rebels run around and attack them with bombs. They rescue Dr Who and Tom, but not Craddock - he is now a Roboman.

Louise hides in a cupboard and is knocked out by an explosion. Tom looks for her but he can't find her. There are so many Daleks and Robomen that most of the rebels run away. Dr Who gets away with David and they escape from Daleks by going down a hole where the Daleks can't follow. Wyler gets away but the rest of his mannys are steamed by Daleks.

Tom and Louise are still on the spaceship. The dramatic music of the last scene turns into silly music, heralding a silly scene coming up.

Tom pretends to be a Roboman and hides among a group of other Robomen. They do everything at the same time, including having noms and sleeps, and Tom tries to copy them but ends up looking very silly because he is always a little behind the rest of them. This scene is very funny.

The film goes serious again when Wyler gets back to the secret Underground base and meets Dortmun and Susan, both of whom stayed behind - Dortmun because he is in a wheelchair and Susan because she's only little. They are going to have to run away from London now so Susan writes a message for Dr Who telling him what they're going to do.

Still on the spaceship, Tom gets away from the real Robomen and he meets up with Louise. Tom takes off his Roboman clothes; he is wearing his normal clothes underneath.

Dr Who and David do the same with their Roboman clothes. They are back at the secret Underground base (but the others are gone now). Dr Who finds out about the Daleks' mine in Bedfordshire and decides to go there. David agrees to go with him.

"Most unlike Susan not to leave me a message," says Dr Who, and then the door closes behind him and we see the message written on it - he doesn't because he is on the wrong side.

The humour in this film is much subtler than in Dr. Who and the Daleks - there it was all caused by Ian being clumsy, but here there is always a dramatic undertone to the funny bits. Tom looked silly to us while he was copying the Robomen, but he had to do it or he would have been caught and maybe steamed by a Dalek. And while it is funny to us that Dr Who missed Susan's message because it was on the door, it means that they don't know where to meet and that has serious implications.

The spaceship takes off with Tom and Louise still on it.

Wyler, Dortmun and Susan find a van to drive away in, just as Daleks are coming to get them. Dortmun tries to blow them up with his bombs before they can steam him, but the explosion is so big that it knocks down a building and he is killed as well.

More Daleks come so Wyler drives the van through them and manages to make some of them explode. The Daleks get their spaceship to chase the van and blow it up, but Wyler and Susan get out in time. These scenes where they are escaping from London are very exciting because they are in constant peril from lots of Daleks.

When it lands Tom and Louise escape from the spaceship by using a Disposal Chute (handily marked "Disposal Chute"). They are at the Daleks' mine and there they meet Conway. Tom knocks out a Roboman and they have to hide in a shed.

Wyler and Susan find a cottage where two old mannys stay. They get some noms and have a rest there.

Dr Who and David get to the mine where they meet Philip Madoc. He is not friendly and points his gun at them, but he offers to take them into the mine without them getting captured by Daleks or Robomen.

The two old mannys have told the Daleks about Wyler and Susan to get more food. Wyler finds out and they try to sneak away but a Dalek catches them and takes them to the mine.

The narrative of the film has cleverly separated the main characters into three groups for the middle of the story (Dr Who and David, Tom and Louise, Wyler and Susan) so they could all have different adventures, yet they have all ended up in the same place for the end of the story.

Philip Madoc takes Dr Who and David to the shed where Tom and Louise are hiding with the help of Conway. Conway tells Dr Who the full extent of the Daleks' plan with the mine:

"The Daleks are going to extract the metallic core of the Earth. Some insane idea of piloting the planet and using it like a giant spaceship."

Wow! That's an amazing idea. Dr Who thinks so too, and he thinks the Daleks can make it work.

The Dalek control room is very large and impressive (and colourful), even compared with their control room in Dr. Who and the Daleks.

In the Dalek control room the Black Dalek and the Gold Dalek are in charge and they are making their bomb ready. It is big and red so we know it is dangerous.

Dr Who has a plan to deflect the bomb so it blows up the Daleks instead of the Earth's core. Philip Madoc doesn't want to help so he leaves. Tom, Conway, David and Louise go to start the plan while Dr Who stays in the shed.

Tom and Conway meet Craddock (who was made into a Roboman earlier but they don't know that). He fights with Conway while Tom gets away, but both of them fall down the mine.

Philip Madoc comes back into the shed with lots of Daleks and they capture Dr Who.

"I'm so sorry," he says.

"Oh, don't apologise. I expected it," replies Dr Who.

Dr Who leaves with one Dalek. The rest of them stay behind.

Philip Madoc tries to hide in the shed but the Daleks all steam the shed and it blows up with Philip Madoc inside.

Dr Who meets Susan and Wyler. They are taken to the Dalek control room. Dr Who sees the Black Dalek giving orders to Robomen using a microphone. He looks down the hole where the bomb will be dropped and sees Tom hiding there.

Dr Who pretends to talk to the Daleks but really he is talking to Tom, telling him how to beat the Daleks.

"One mistake; one deviation in the aiming of your bomb and enough magnetic energy will be released to destroy you."

Tom understands what he has to do.

The Daleks think Dr Who is the rebel leader (maybe Philip Madoc told them he was?) and they are about to exterminate him when he fools them with another brilliant trick - he offers to help them overcome their weakness, but he is only pretending because he shouts "Look!" and when they all look up at the bomb he runs to the microphone.

"Attention all Robomen! Attack the Daleks! This order cannot be countermanded: attack the Daleks!"

Straightaway all the Robomen start attacking Daleks and the Daleks have to start steaming their own mannys. There is a big fight and the Robomen all get steamed, but the prisoners at the mine have all managed to escape.

The Daleks begin their countdown for the bomb. Yay, a countdown! It will explode after 50 rels.

The bomb drops down and Tom deflects it with planks of wood. He then runs away.

The bomb explodes too soon, before the time that the Daleks had set for it.

"Danger! Danger!" shouts the Black Dalek. The Daleks try to abandon the base but they all go out of control.

"Cannot control!" shouts the Black Dalek, "Cannot control! Cannot control!"

Then he falls down the hole. Silly Dalek.

The spaceship tries to take off but it crashes into the mine and blows up in the biggest explosion of all.

All of the mannys have escaped into the hills. Dr Who, Tom, Susan and Louise get back to TARDIS.

They take Tom back to before the start of the film, when the manny is still in his car, waiting for something (only this time we know what, and so does Tom). Tom knocks the manny out and gets in the car. After the explosion happens the other two mannys run out and get in the car so Tom knocks them out too. He waves to TARDIS as he drives the car past.

Dr Who, Susan and Louise wave back, and that is the end of the film.

This film is even better than the first one. It is exciting from the very first explosion all the way through to the last (which is the same as the first explosion due to time-travel - now that's clever).

This is not a long film, but it wastes no time in establishing its characters, setting and plot while going from one thrilling scene to the next, so it still has time to do clever things like separating the main characters and bringing them back together again, or having the Daleks being defeated by their own weapons - the Robomen and the big red bomb.

Speaking of the big red bomb, this film is very colourful and fabulous to watch, which is important because it is a spectacle and helps it feel epic in scale. The first film was very colourful, of course, but they had to top it for this one and for me they succeeded.

This film also had some great guest-stars, such as Bernard Cribbins and Philip Madoc. Philip Madoc's character did have a name, but I can't remember it and it doesn't really matter - he was Philip Madoc!

Bernard Cribbins played the important character of Tom Campbell. He was important because Ian's story was told in Dr. Who and the Daleks, so they needed a new character to fill the role of Ian Chesterton in the TV version of this story.

Tom is different from Ian because he is not clumsy - we can tell this early on when he saves Susan from the falling things. Later on he saves the whole of planet Earth, and he is rewarded by being able to undo his mistake of letting the baddys get the jump on him at the start of the film.

Starcat tells me that this was made in 1966, which is the same year that Star Trek began. I asked him which he liked better and he said Star Trek. Well he would; he's Starcat. I don't know myself, I think I will have to watch more Star Trek before I make a decision...

Monkey Challenge: Such A Nice Monster

So there's this monster, right, and he doesn't want to be evil anymore, but he still looks like a (typically ridiculous) monster so the people still hate and fear him. All he wants to do is be a dog, but his habit of turning into a giant, badly-CSO'd dog-monster every time he loses his temper isn't helping.

The first to befriend him is Yu Lung, who then persuades Monkey to go along with his plan to persuade the local villagers that he's not evil. Monkey makes himself equally giant (his rarely-seen "Cosmic Manifestation" - probably it's rarely seen because it's not the best effect in the world, even by Monkey's standards) and pretends to be evil himself.

When Monkey threatens to eat the villagers, who should come to the rescue but the dog-spirit. There then follows a titanic battle, and while the growing and shrinking effects are poor, I will give some credit to the tiny-villagers-cowering-away-from-the-two-huge-monsters-fighting effects.

When the dog-spirit drives off the evil Monkey-demon, he is accepted as a friend by the locals.

To summarise: this episode is barking mad.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I'm 36 episodes in, please allow me some easy ones.

Big Gay Longcat reviews Dr. Who and the Daleks

This is a film that was made in 1965. It has Daleks in it but not the Doctor. Instead it has a manny called Dr Who and he is similar but different to the Doctor. It starred Peter Cushing as Dr Who, with Roy Castle as Ian, Jennie Linden as Barbara and Roberta Tovey as Susan.

It starts with a ticking clock, which is deeply symbolic of time-travel. This promises that the film will be full of clever symbolism. Obviously I must have missed a lot of this, because I'm only a cat, but I'm sure it would be there if I was clever enough to spot it.

Then we meet the main characters. Susan and Barbara are Dr Who's granddaughters and they are both reading science books. Dr Who is reading the Eagle comic.

"Most exciting," he says. This shows Dr Who already knows so much about science that he doesn't need to read any more books about it. You see what I mean about symbolism?

Ian arrives and bashes his head when he comes in. This shows us that he is very clumsy, which will later be an important plot point as well as being a reversal of how Ian Chesterton is in the TV series, when he is a science teacher and not clumsy at all.

Ian meets Dr Who for the first time and is introduced, but very soon after Dr Who calls Ian "Harold" by mistake. This shows that Dr Who is absent-minded. He wants to show Ian something.

"My latest invention," he says proudly.

"What, a Police Box?" asks Ian. He obviously knows Police Boxes have already been invented.

"Of course not!" Susan is indignant.

"This is TARDIS," explains Dr Who.

Ian opens the door and looks in. It's bigger on the inside! Ian looks confused. Dr Who, Ian and Susan go in and Dr Who explains how TARDIS works. Ian looks more confused.

Barbara comes in and Ian falls on a big lever that makes TARDIS disappear.

"We could be anywhere in the universe, and at any time," says Dr Who. "Rather exciting, isn't it?"

Ian doesn't believe that they have moved until he opens the door.

They are in a forest where all the trees are dead. It has taken just 7 minutes of the film to get to Skaro.

Ian wants to go home but Dr Who and Susan want to explore. Barbara sees a monster and clumsy Ian falls on it, which reveals that it is dead like the trees.

Susan sees a city and Dr Who wants to investigate it but Ian and Barbara persuade them to go back to TARDIS because they're scared. On the way back a hand touches Susan on the shoulder and she gets scared too.

Back at TARDIS something knocks on the door. Ian wants them to go home but Dr Who says TARDIS is broken and they need some mercury to make it work again, so they will have to go to the city to look for some.

They go out into the forest again and find a box. It has medicine in it. Dr Who is more interested in the city and they leave the box behind in TARDIS for him to look at later.

At the city the music changes subtly, becoming more sinister. I know what's going to happen but if I didn't the music would be a big clue that something dramatic is going to happen soon.

Dr Who is tired and Ian doesn't feel well either. They split up to look for mercury. The doors open to let Barbara in one way, Dr Who and Susan in another way, but they don't open for Ian. The door trolls Ian by only opening when he isn't near it, and he is still there when Dr Who and Susan come back.

This is a very funny scene as Ian becomes more and more desperate to get past the door, but it is in contrast with the scary scene that follows as the film goes from silly to serious at this point.

Barbara meets something and screams. The others want to help her but can't get in until they trick the doors open. They find a control room but no sign of Barbara. Dr Who finds an instrument that tells him about the radiation.

He confesses to Ian that there is not really anything wrong with TARDIS, he was just too curious about the city and it turns out his curiosity has put them all in danger. If only there was some kind of saying or proverb about the peril of too much curiosity...

They are going to leave to continue looking for Barbara, when suddenly they are surrounded by DALEKS!

It is 20 minutes into the film before the Daleks appear, but when they do they really make an entrance.

These are bigger and scarier Daleks than usual, but they are also fabulous and multi-coloured. I like things that are fabulous and multi-coloured, they remind me of me.

Ian tries to run away and Daleks shoot him with steam so he can't walk, and if he can't walk then he can't run away either. These Daleks don't make people go negative like TV Daleks, they just steam them instead. I think this difference fits the larger-than-life look of the film Daleks.

They are all captured, Barbara as well. The Daleks also steal a bit of TARDIS from Dr Who. The Daleks explain about the Daleks and the Thals, but they think that the Thals are horrible mutations who have invented medicine to cure radiation - one of them has to go and get the box from TARDIS. Ian wants to go but he still can't walk, so Susan is brave and volunteers.

Obviously the Daleks are baddys and they plot to keep the medicine for themselves. They are pretending to be friendly and it is lucky for them that Susan cannot hear the menacing Dalek music that accompanies the scenes of her leaving the city.

Susan runs through the forest as a scary storm rages. She is being followed by someone. She gets back to TARDIS but the manny following her come in after her and it is a Thal.

His name is Alydon and he is friendly. He gives Susan more medicine to hid in case the Daleks steal the other medicine.

"But they called you monsters," says Susan.

"If they call us monsters, what must they be like?"

Susan gets back to the city and gives medicine to the others after the Daleks take some for their own use. The Daleks hear them talking about Alydon, and want to set a trap for the Thals.

To get them to come to the city the Daleks make Susan write a letter to the Thals, but when doing this they give away that they have been spying on them in the cell. The Dalek boasts that they will destroy the Thals when they come to the city for food. The Thals get the letter and believe it, so they are all set to fall into the trap.

Back in the cell Susan breaks the camera so they can plan an escape. Dr Who works out the Daleks' weakness and they set a trap of their own. Confusing the Dalek by wedging the cell door open, Barbara then blinds it with food in the eye, and then they put it on a cloak which makes the Dalek go to sleep (like the opposite of a budgie - at least I think that's what happens, I don't understand science things).

Dr Who and Ian open the Dalek up and take the insides out so Ian can get inside instead. Then they escape with Ian pretending to be a Dalek.

The creature that was inside the Dalek is green and horrible. Ian covers it with the cloak so we only see its hand.

They get past one Dalek with the Ian-in-a-Dalek ruse before they are found out. There is a very tense scene as they try to escape in a lift, but Ian is stuck inside the Dalek and gets left behind. More Daleks come in and they steam the Dalek Ian was in. It blows up, but he managed to escape just in time.

Speaking of "just in time," the Thals are coming to get food killed by the Daleks. They are slowly, cautiously walking into the Dalek city, oblivious to the ominous Dalek music, when Dr Who runs in and shouts

so the Thals run away, except for one of them who is steamed by the Daleks and killed.

Everybody runs all the way to TARDIS, the Thals too. They can't leave in TARDIS because the Daleks still have the bit they took earlier. Dr Who tries to persuade the Thals to fight the Daleks, but they are peaceful and don't want to.

Meanwhile, the Daleks have discovered they can't use the Thals' medicine, which means they can't leave the city to attack the Thals. The only way they can kill all the Thals is by exploding a big bomb.

The Thals keep saying they don't want to fight the Daleks until Dr Who plays a trick on them. He gets Ian to kidnap one of the Thals, which makes Alydon angry and he punches Ian. Poor Ian, it is his lot to be the one who gets hurt. But it does show the Thals that some things are worth fighting for.

Unknown to them, but known to the Daleks and us watching, the Daleks have made their bomb and it is going to explode in 1 hour. This means it is a race against time to save everyone, which makes the rest of the film even more exciting.

To attack the Daleks they have a clever plan to send Ian, Barbara and 3 Thals (Ganatus, Antodus and Elyon) around the city (I don't understand why this is clever, but I think it will surprise the Daleks somehow). They have to go through a "deadly swamp" and Ian is not too happy about that.

Ian sees a monster in the water and gets scared, but it is Elyon that gets eated by it. They climb up a mountain and go into a tunnel. In the tunnel is a deep hole that they have to jump across. Ganatus gets across, then Ian, then Barbara. But Antodus doesn't jump far enough and is only saved by a rope which dangles him down the hole.

Leaving this very dramatic cliffhanger, the action goes back to Dr Who - he leads the other Thals to the city. They are all armed with mirrors to confuse the Daleks.

This is a plan that would definitely work on cats, but all that happens here is the Daleks come out and the Thals all run away. The only ones that don't run away are Dr Who and Susan, and so they get captured.

The rope is in danger of pulling Ian down the hole as well, so Antodus cuts the rope with his knife to make sure only he falls down. Everyone thinks he has fallen all the way down to his death, but he hasn't. He is stuck part of the way down the hole.

There are 100 seconds left until the bomb will explode; it is getting very tense and exciting.

The Thals that ran away decide to attack the city again. Dr Who and Susan have been taken to the Daleks' control room where they can see the countdown to the bomb exploding; it is now at 60 seconds.

Ian, Barbara, Ganatus and Antodus get to the city and sneak in. They are spotted by a Dalek who tries to steam them but they get away. Another Dalek chases them and traps them and is about to steam them when more Thals come to the rescue. The Dalek is lassoed and pulled down a lift shaft, which is a very dramatically satisfying way of disposing of a Dalek.

Ian and Alydon meet up and get to the control room, chased by two Daleks. They cleverly turn the Daleks to face each other so they steam themselves. Lots of Thals run into the control room and because they are agile they fool some Daleks into steaming other Daleks.

With only 10 seconds left Dr Who shouts "Stop the countdown! The bomb will destroy the planet!"

Ian hears him and he quickly shouts "Daleks!" to get their attention. They all go full steam at him, except they hit all the controls that Ian was standing in front of and they explode!

The Daleks are all killed by the explosion and the planet is saved.

Dr Who fixes TARDIS. They all say goodbye to the Thals and get given cloaks as presents. Ian pushes the lever to make TARDIS work, but when he opens the door there is an army of mannys coming towards them! And that is how the film ends.

I like this film a lot. It has all the things I like in films: funny bits, dramatic bits, scary bits, exciting bits, mannys being silly, mannys being brave and clever, a countdown, and fabulous and colourful designs. If only it had Captain Kirk in it then I think it would be my best film ever.

I like the way Dr Who, Ian, Barbara and Susan are different from their TV versions, even if they have very similar names (Ian has exactly the same name!) because otherwise it would be too easy to compare this film unfavourably with Terry Nation's TV story.

The film's story works well in its own right, because it is much faster paced. It wastes little time in getting to Skaro, but it does need to introduce the main characters and let them show their personalities, which it does very well, very quickly.

The film's main character is clumsy Ian, who is a bit of a scaredy cat, but he saves the day by being daring and brave right at the end. This is a 'hero's journey' that the TV version doesn't have (and doesn't need) because there Ian is a continuing character and his 'journey' lasts for more than just the one story.

The film also doesn't have the episodic nature of the TV version, which makes its pacing very different - the film is non-stop build-up from the halfway point - as soon as the Daleks reveal their bomb - on to the explosive climax.

These differences allow both the film and the TV versions to be enjoyed differently, each in its own way.

Scary Cat also likes this film, though he denies being scared by any part of it, not even the scary storm when Susan was being followed by Alydon, which I thought was the scariest bit.

The Space Adventures of Little Gay Longcat

Part 32: I'm Sorry

Monkey Challenge: Give and Take

Superficially looking at this episode one could be forgiven in thinking it continues the trend of recent episodes to get - if anything - even sillier. This would be entirely down to the visual realisation of the monsters who appear in this episode.

If I say that the least ridiculous of the monsters resembles the most stereotypical Dracula imaginable (save only that he's played by a Japanese actor and not Bela Lugosi) then that tells you something of the level we're dealing with here.

However, beneath the surface appearance I find this is actually one of the deepest and most moving episodes of Monkey for quite some time.

The pilgrims encounter the aforementioned Dracula lookalike, who wants to drink Tripitaka's blood. He's no match for Monkey in a fight and so runs away, escaping with the help of a mysterious stranger who hides him.

But once Monkey and co have given up looking and Dracula's double can come out of hiding, the stranger kills him with a comically giant wooden stake. It turns out that the stranger is a monster hunter, and wanted to kill not-Dracula himself so he could claim a reward.

The next day the pilgrims arrive in a town where they find out a bit more of what's going on: this country is plagued by monsters, and the king offers a bounty of 10 gold pieces for bringing them in dead or alive.

They discover that the stranger they met is a skilled monster hunter, and he is growing rich from the number of monsters he has brought in. But he has alienated the townsfolk, who hate and fear him because he kills for money. Tripitaka also disapproves of this un-Buddhist activity.

So far so typical for a Monkey story, but then the plot really gets underway when Pigsy meets and befriends a blind girl. She tells him that it would cost her 100 gold pieces for an operation to restore her eyesight, and Pigsy - with Sandy's assistance - hits upon the idea of hunting a few monsters to earn her the money.

So Pigsy is now in competition with the monster hunter, and there is a great scene where they both fight a monster, with each trying to ensure that he is the one who kills it so he can claim the money. Pigsy is successful and claims his first 10 gold pieces, which he gives to the girl.

At this point the story takes another twist, when the king offers the monster hunter 50 gold pieces for killing Tripitaka, who he claims is the most evil monster of all, and the hunter is only too happy to take the job.

The two plot threads dovetail very nicely when the hunter goes to kill Tripitaka - when he gets there he overhears Pigsy explaining why he has taken to monster hunting to Tripitaka, and he then gets a glimpse of Tripitaka's humanity when the priest offers to pawn his holy relics (with him since the start of the series but very rarely mentioned since) to pay for the blind girl's operation.

The hunter confesses that he too was hunting the monsters for the gold to pay for the operation, because he is the brother of the blind girl. While not exactly the hardest twist in the world to guess, it is neatly executed and shows the hunter was doing questionable things but had good motives for doing them.

Monkey realises the king that offered him the money to kill Tripitaka must have been a monster in disguise, and this leads on the final confrontation between Monkey and the rest of the absurdly-becostumed monsters-of-the-week.

The story ends with Pigsy leaving the girl behind with her brother to have the operation. He has clearly grown a little this episode, because he has acted from good motives and, unusually for him, is embarrassed by the thought that, when she has her sight, she will see he is not as handsome as he made out.