Monday, 19 July 2010

Big Gay Longcat reviews Star Trek: The Naked Time

Last time I reviewed the scariest Star Trek episode ever, The Corbomite Maneuver. Today I am going to review the rudest Star Trek episode ever. Even its name is rude - The Naked Time, hehehe.

It is also the only episode that can tempt me away from thinking Captain Kirk is the nicest manny in Star Trek, because this is the episode where Lt Sulu takes his shirt off and Captain Kirk doesn't.
Don't worry, I still like Captain Kirk best really.

It starts with the Enterprise at a cold planet. Mr Spock and a manny called Joe beam down and find dead mannys. Joe gets red paint on him and sinister music plays so we know this is bad.

They go back to the Enterprise. Dr McCoy thinks they're alright but Joe still has sinister music on him so we know they aren't really. Mr Spock thinks the mannys on the planet all died of space madness. The planet is going to fall to bits and Captain Kirk wants to watch it - he doesn't want his crew to get space madness, this isn't a Terry Nation story.

Too late! Joe goes crazy with a knife and gives his space madness to Lt Sulu and Lt Riley, then Joe gets stabbed by mistake. Dr McCoy does space medicine on him but he still dies. Dr McCoy is confused by this.

Lt Sulu sneaks away from the bridge so he can go mad. Mr Spock notices he is gone and then Lt Riley goes mad too. He goes to sickbay and gives the space madness to Nurse Chapel - you can tell this because the sinister music goes with it.

Lt Sulu appears with a sword and no shirt on!

He chases two mannys thinking they're baddys, then goes mad on the bridge. Lt Uhura distracts him until Captain Kirk and Mr Spock can knock him out. I like these scenes a lot, Lt Sulu is very nice when he is space mad and shirtless.

Lt Riley takes over Engineering, declares himself captain, and sings a song. He has locked Scotty out and the ship will crash if they can't make the ship go. Mr Spock says "no way Captain" while Captain Kirk doesn't like Lt Riley's singing.

I am not surprised by this. My singing is much better than Lt Riley's. I am sure Captain Kirk would like me singing to him. Mewmewmewmewmew. I would sing like that.

Now lots of mannys are going mad - Mr Spock goes to sickbay to see Dr McCoy but then he gets the madness from Nurse Chapel. She tells him she is in love with him. Mr Spock tries to resist the madness but then he becomes very emotional. He tries to be logical but he can't even count up to 7. Even I can do that and I'm only a cat.

Gamma Longcat likes Mr Spock best, and he has asked me to point out that the only reason I can count up to 7 is because I have 7 colours of stripes. I dispute this. I say I can count up to 7 because I like Blakes 7!

Captain Kirk and Scotty get into Engineering and arrest Lt Riley, but the ship is still going to crash.
"I can't change the laws of physics," says Scotty.

Dr McCoy manages to cure Lt Sulu so it looks like they will be alright if the Enterprise doesn't crash. Captain Kirk finds Mr Spock and tries to get him to help make the ship go, but Mr Spock is too sad.

Captain Kirk tries to snap Mr Spock out of it by hitting him but then he gets the madness too. When he is mad Captain Kirk admits he loves Spock Avon the Enterprise.

Captain Kirk and Mr Spock manage to get control of themselves. Captain Kirk goes to the bridge and gets cured by Dr McCoy, while Mr Spock helps Scotty make the ship go and so they get away. But they end up inventing time travel by mistake when they go back in time 3 days.

That is the end of the episode.

That was a rude and silly episode with all the mannys acting mad. The reason it is also a good episode is because it was a very early episode of Star Trek when all the characters were new, and so every manny gets a chance to do something so you know what they're like. Even the ones that go mad we can see how they are acting silly and so know that they are not like that really.

But the best bit of the episode?

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