Sunday 12 August 2018

Fall of Eagles: Tell the King the Sky is Falling

There lived a certain man, in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the Bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire


Ra! Ra! Rasputin!
Lover of the Russian Queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra! Ra! Rasputin!
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Tsar
But the kazachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state, he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the Queen he was no wheeler-dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son


Ra! Ra! Rasputin!
Lover of the Russian Queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra! Ra! Rasputin!
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

But when his drinking and lusting
And his hunger for power
Became known to more and more people
The demands to do something
About this outrageous man
Became louder and louder

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged, "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute, they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came


Ra! Ra! Rasputin!
Lover of the Russian Queen
They put some poison into his wine
Ra! Ra! Rasputin!
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and said "I feel fine"

Ra! Ra! Rasputin!
Lover of the Russian Queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
Ra! Ra! Rasputin!
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

Oh, those Russians...

I was really looking forward to this episode, but sadly Rasputin is not played by a cat, he is played by Michael Aldridge (Percy Alleline in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy).

This episode of Fall of Eagles tells the story of how World War 1 goes badly for the Russians because of factional infighting between the mannys who would be most capable of running the war (or at least who think they would be best at it), and those who are in their positions only because they are friends with Rasputin and have gotten him to use his influence with the Tsar and Tsarina. As a result the character of Rasputin dominates the episode, even though he only actually appears in a pawful of scenes.

The main point of contention is the appointment of the incompetent Protopopov (why does Protopopov have four o's in his name? Because otherwise he'd be Prtppv, mew) as Minister of the Interior, a vital government job and responsible for supplying the Russian army with all of the things it needs to do a war properly.


Protopopov is played by Hugh Burden (the sinister Channing in Spearhead From Space), while his arch-rival is his former boss and president of the Russian Duma (which the Tsar keeps changing his mind about abolishing) Rodzianko, played by Charles "It's just a jump to the left" Grey.


Things get worse when the Tsar takes personal command of the Russian army, with General Alexeiev (Nigel "Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling" Stock) to advise him. For 'advise him' read 'actually do everything because the Tsar is completely useless.'

This is popular at first, but then after a while the Tsar can no longer escape being blamed for how badly the war is going for Russia.


With the Tsar away at the war and Empress Alexandra left in charge back in the capital city, Rodzianko is brought into the conspiracy by members of the Tsar's own family, who are worried that Rasputin's influence over the Empress is so great that he is now ruling Russia from behind the throne.

As with many pivotal events in Fall of Eagles, we don't actually see Rasputin's assassination. Instead, in the final scene in which he appears, Rasputin prophesises his imminent death, as well as a few other future events in that suspiciously accurate way that prophecies in historical TV series tend to be (see also the propecies of Thrasyllus and the Sibyl in I Claudius).

"I will tell you something - I will not last out this year. My life will be taken. I know that. And after I have gone, everything will fall. God will be mocked, and Russian will turn against Russian. The ordinary people will take the broken pieces of Russia into their own hands."

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