Saturday 5 September 2020

Big Gay Longcat reviews Doctor Who: The Claws of Axos Episode Three


The Axons knock out Bill Filer with a quick tentacle, and then capture the Doctor and Jo by hypno-eyesing them. Of course they first need to turn into their form that has eyes in order to do that.

The chief Axon tells the Doctor their evil plan to nom the world:
"Axonite is simply bait for human greed. Because of this greed, Axonite will soon spread across the entire planet and then the nutrition cycle will begin."
"Indeed, and what then?"
"Slowly we will consume every particle of energy, every last cell of living matter. Earth will be sucked dry."

The Brigadier now teams up with Captain Harker and they each get their mannys to search for the Doctor and Jo.

The Master has tricked the mannys into wanting Axonite all over the world, and the Minister orders Mr Chin to arrange it, which means that Civil Service bureaucracy is the one thing standing between the Earth and total destruction, and the only thing that can stop the Master's plan. It's almost like he doesn't want it to succeed!


The Master gets into the Nuton Power Complex laboratory in disguise, where he finds the Doctor's TARDIS has been put, and he goes into it.

The Axons force the Doctor to W-word for them by threatening to age Jo to death. They want the secrets of maths time travel from him, and find out that they need to steal all the power from the power complex to have enough power for it.


That's a lot of power! It's nearly one whole milli-Gunn Sar!

Filer warns the Brigadier of the danger of Axonite, but the Brigadier gets distracted by an Axon wandering around on location. Soldiers try to shoot it but they get blowed up or electriced by its tentacles.


It goes into the "Main Research Reactor" (thanks once again, convenient signpost).

The Master is still inside the Doctor's TARDIS, trying to fix it. He goes out to the laboratory and is spotted by the Brigadier, Yates and Benton, who capture him. The Axons have by now taken control of the reactor to get its power and the Master offers to team up with the Brigadier to stop them. He tells Sir George (the scientist who didn't get killed last episode) what he intends to do:
"I'd like you to give me a link from the TARDIS to the accelerator so that I can get straight through to the main reactor. Now what I propose to do is this - stack up as much power as the TARDIS will take, then channel it back through the accelerator and boost it, so that instead of the gradual power build-up that Axos expects, it'll get the whole lot in one devastating surge."
"Are you trying to tell me you can absorb the total output of this complex in a police box?"
"Yes."
The brilliance of the Master's one-word response to Sir George is all in the wonderful delivery from Roger Delgado, stealing the scene as usual.
The Brigadier asks
"What else can we do?"
and the Master trolls him by replying
"Oh, nothing very much. I suppose you can take the normal precautions against nuclear blast, like, er... sticky tape on the windows and that sort of thing."
Filer comes in and tries to capture the Master, and the Brigadier has to tell him not to, lol.

Inside Axos, the Doctor can only watch as the power builds up, and then it starts to decrease as the Master starts his plan. He realises Axos is distracted by this unexpected emergency and seizes his chance to escape, fighting off lots of random tentacles and rescuing Jo on his way out.

The Master knows that if he blows up Axos now, the Doctor and Jo will be inside it and "won't stand a chance." The Brigadier does a Big No, but the Master replies with
"Either we destroy Axos or Axos destroys the world. Which is it to be, Brigadier?"
and then throws the switch.

This would have been a purrfect moment to end the episode on, but it carries on just a few seconds too long, with a shot to show the Doctor and Jo struggling against some grabby tentacles and shakycam.

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