Tuesday 22 June 2021

Big Gay Longcat reviews Doctor Who: The Mutants Episode One

The Mutants is the second story of the very first season of Doctor Who, starring William Hartnell as the Doctor, William Russell as Ian, Jacqueline Hill as Barbara and Carole Ann Ford as Susan. It is particularly well known for being the first story in which the Daleks appear, and it was written by Terry Nation so it is bound to be great! Which means it is a shame that today I'm going to be reviewing the other The Mutants.

The other The Mutants is the fourth story of season nine of Doctor Who, which was first broadcast in 1972, at which point the earlier The Mutants was retroactively renamed The Daleks. It stars Jon Pertwee as the Doctor and Katy Manning as Jo Grant, and is the fourth of the Pertwee Six-Parters.

It starts with a manny running around on location being chased by Marshal, Stubbs and Cotton (Rick "but words are no more than... words" James). They call the first manny "Mutt" but he doesn't look much like a doggy to me. Then again, doggys do love chases so... maybe?


The Doctor and Jo are in the UNIT lab when a thingy materialises. The Doctor recognises it as having been sent to him by the Time Lords, although it would have been better if it had made a TARDIS-style materialisation noise to tip the viewers off to the same thing.

It causes a momentary time eddy that makes the Doctor say his lines more than once - a clever trick to make them more memorable for us so that we will remember it later on:
"I couldn't, even if I wanted to. No, I'm not meant to. I couldn't open it, even if I wanted to. No, it's only meant for one person, and or creature. It will only open for one person."
The Doctor also says
"It's an assignment."
So presumably Sapphire and Steel were busy? On this occasion he seems less reluctant to do W-word for the Time Lords than usual, perhaps because he recognises it is "a real emergency," or perhaps he's just happy for the chance to get away from Earth - it has, after all, been two whole stories since that happened, mew!

The Doctor and Jo leave in the TARDIS, which dematerialises and then rematerialises on a spaceship.



Elsewhere on the spaceship some other characters are having an argument in which the backstory of this planet is revealed to us by way of them shouting exposition at each other - exposition that they should already know. One of them is Varan, who is loyal to the "overlords" while the other is Ky, last of the Brunnen-G (Garrick "Biggs Darklighter" Hagon) who doesn't like the overlords, but he has to go along with them.

The Doctor and Jo spend a while wandering around corridors and using the sonic screwdriver to open doors and talking about how a book Jo hasn't read is like unto their present situation, so clear early signs of padding. Eventually they encounter the plot when they first have a fight with a "native mutant" and then when they get captured by Stubbs and Cotton.


Marshal talks to Administrator (Geoffrey Palmer, last seen as Masters in Doctor Who and the Silurians). It has just occurred to me that "Marshal" and "Administrator" are titles: "THE Marshal" and "THE Administrator," so maybe one of them is really the Master in disguise? It would be ironic if Geoffrey Palmer is the Master now that he isn't playing Masters - or maybe they are one and the same?

The Administrator is in charge of the Marshal, and gives him and us the exposition about how Earth is about to give the native Solonians independence:
"I take it you've been too busy with security to study the latest reports from Earth? We can't afford an empire any more. Earth is exhausted, Marshal. Finished. Politically, economically and biologically finished."
So this is a fairly unsubtle allegory for the decolonisation of the British Empire that had taken place after World War 2 but which a surprisingly large number of mannys still haven't come to terms with today, never mind in 1972 when this story was made.


The Marshal establishes himself as the baddy when he suggests wiping out the natives and taking over the planet instead, but the Administrator neither likes this idea nor has to go along with it. The Marshal starts scheming behind his back as soon as the Administrator leave the room.

The Doctor gives the Time Lord's container to first the Administrator and then the Marshal, but neither of them can open it. The Marshal tries to pewpewpew it open, but his small fire fails to even heat it.

The Administrator goes to make a speech to the Solonians, where he gets heckled by Ky. The Marshal has arranged for Varan's son to have a secret gun, and he uses it to shoot the Administrator, who goes

With only Stubbs guarding them, the Doctor and Jo escape by the Doctor using the Vulcan nerve pinch on him. They are then stopped from reaching the conference by Cotton. The Doctor is in the middle of trying to bluff his way past when Ky runs out of the conference and touches the Time Lord's container, opening it and solving that mystery - fortunately for us, considering that it is still only episode one, it is immediately replaced with the new mystery of why the Time Lords sent a present to Ky. Maybe it is his birthday?

Jo chases after Ky, who mistaiks her for an overlord and takes her hostage, thinking that the Marshal's mannys won't shoot her. But Jo isn't an overlord, so the Marshal's mannys pewpewpew at both of them - cliffhanger!

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