Christmas is the most commercialised of all the manny holy days, and has been since long before we cats were made from socks. When this started being the case is unknown, but the blame is often placed on the USA in the 1980s, back in the time when President Reagan was president.
Let's look at one of the all time classic TV Christmas Specials to see this coming to pass in real time, as the materialistic and spiritual sides of Christmas fight for screentime in 1985's He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special.
It starts with a pre-titles sequence in which Adam and Adora are about to celebrate their birthday, conveniently timed at Christmas (which I think is getting the messianic metaphor in a bit too early and blatantly). All of She-Ra's friends have come with her to visit her parents, and luckily they are the king and queen so that means their house is big enough.
The decorations they are putting up are suspiciously Christmas-like, and the queen remarks on how they remind her of Christmas.
"Christmas? What's that, an Earth holiday?"
asks the king, implying that even though they have been married long enough to have adult children, either she has never mentioned Christmas before now or he has never asked her what she means by it before.
The queen knows about Christmas because she is a manny who originally came from Earth. This means that, just like Jesus (and Spock, and the eighth Doctor Who), He-Man and She-Ra are half-manny on their mother's side. Although their origin story is otherwise more akin to Krishna's than that of Jesus, what with all the fighting monsters and possessing of magic weapons.
International espionage doesn't take a break for the holidays, and Man-At-Arms is still W-wording on building a spaceship with which to spy on Skeletor. But who spies on the spies?
Why, it is the handsome, charming and cat-like Orko, who investigates the "Sky Spy" and accidentally launches it while he is still inside, lol. It flies straight into the title sequence.
After the titles, Skeletor and his henchmannys see the Sky Spy and chase after it in their own spaceship. Spying on the Sky Spy from back in their own base, Prince Adam and Man-At-Arms see this happening, so Adam says
"Then He-Man's going after Skeletor. BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!"
This leads into the first of the transformation sequences we see in this episode, and it may be 40 years old but it is still as cool as all fuck.
He-Man flies on some kind of rocket cycle and then uses his magic sword to chop the grabby claws off of Skeletor's ship.
"There we are: claws to paws."
he quips. The ship then manifests some grabby rope belt thingys which overwhelm and capture He-Man, for a few seconds until She-Ra flies in (on her magic flying unicorn Swift Wind, he of the deep, forty-cigarettes-a-day voice which ill-becomes such a majestic animal) and rescues him, because this is an equal opportunities Christmas special.
To show that his organisation only partially tolerates failure, Skeletor gives his henchmannys a single parachute between them and then ejects them from his ship, lol.
The Sky Spy flies away across space, and soon He-Man and She-Ra have to give up their pursuit of it. It flies all the way to Earth and deposits Orko in a snowy, mountainous location. He rescues two small mannys from an avalanche (although not explicitly stated on-screen, this was almost certainly caused by the Sky Spy's crash landing) and befriends them. They seem unfazed to have been rescued by an alien with magic powers, perhaps because this sort of thing was a fairly common occurrence in the 1980s.
"When you get lots of presents!"
Again, it was the 1980s. These are the children of Ronald Reagan. Metaphorically, I hope. Mew.
"But it's also a time when everybody thinks about peace and goodwill toward men."
They decide to tell Orko about the birth of Jesus, although to save time they will do almost all of this off-screen between scenes. Orko also finds out the mannys' names off-screen, which may very well save on vital seconds of screen time but it does also make the story more confusing for the viewers.
Back on Eternia, the others deduce that Orko must have been on board the Sky Spy. They trace the ship to Earth, but the only way they can get Orko back from that distance away is to teleport him using the Liberator Man-At-Arms's teleporter. But he says "it needs a carium water crystal" (I think that's how it's spelled, although it could just as easily be spelt 'MacGuffin') to power it over interstellar range. Adora thinks these may be found on Etheria, so it is a job for She-Ra to go and look for one.
The She-Ra transformation sequence has always lived in the shadow of He-Man's iconic original version, but it makes up for this by the accompanying music being, if anything, even better than the famous He-Man theme.
Mermista, one of She-Ra's friends, tells her where to look for the crystal, but warns that it is "guarded by the Beast-Monster" (which as a name sounds like the beast/monster equivalent of 'He-Man'). She-Ra flies there and says
"Doesn't look as though anyone's home."
Immediately after she says this, a beast/monster rises up out of the wet and rars at her. She-Ra and Swift Wind distract the Beast-Monster while Mermista looks for the crystal they need. This takes less than a minute, because action sequences are tricky to animate and this isn't even the main plot.
Just as She-Ra and Swift Wind are about to leave with the crystal, a giant robot rises out of the ground, and this is soon followed by the arrival of two more.
Swift Wind tries to fly away, but they get pewpewpewed and captured in a bubble. The robots then transform
into a rocket, a tank, and a hovering robot that doesn't really look much different. Swift Wind says
"They're changing into other forms! What evil robots!"
Is this some kind of not-very-subtle dig at The Transfomers? Did the two franchises have a vendetta with each other or something?
She-Ra knows they are called "the Monstroids" which is a great name and sounds like something Terry Nation would have come up with. She-Ra escapes from the bubble using her magic sword and they take the crystal back for Man-At-Arms's teleporter.
The Sky Spy and Orko get teleported to Eternia, but the children get teleported there as well. Wasn't an accidental teleporter kidnapping a major plot point in The Care Bears Movie too? Oh well, if you're going to steal, steal from the best...
We finally get told that the children are named Kim and Jason Alisha and Miguel.
"There is a great disturbancein the forcea new spirit of goodness has arrived on Eternia. The power of Horde Prime may be threatened."
He orders Skeletor and Hordak to team up and "crush" the spirit of Christmas, but they immediately start arguing.
Hordak: "Have no fear, great master, I will eliminate this... this Christmas spirit before another day is past."Skeletor: "You? You can't even handle that muscle-bound female She-Ra!"Hordak: "Just a minute, what about the way He-Man handles you, Bone Brain!"Skeletor: "Bone Brain? Why you miserable excuse for a villain..."
LOL! These two trying to team up is as much fun to watch as when the different Doctors get together.
As we approach the halfway point of the episode, the main plot is finally in danger of getting started. Unfortunately here comes She-Ra's friends Perfuma and Bow to waste our time with an appallingly twee musical number.
This is mercifully cut short when Hordak attacks, and captures Alisha, Miguel and Orko - presumably Orko now knows too much about Christmas to be allowed to go free? There is a brief appearance by one of the best She-Ra characters, Catra, piloting Hordak's spaceship.
The Monstroids reappear and attack Hordak's ship, forcing it to land. The Monstroid leader (we don't yet know his name but it's probably something like Megaton or Magatron) demands the prisoners be pawed over to them, and Hordak and his henchmannys run away - their legs going like in Scooby-Doo to make this into a komedy moment.
The Monstroids call their leader "Number One" which is an unexpected Christmas crossover with James Bond. Either that or they're now having a go at the GoBots.
She-Ra's friend Peekablue uses her psychic power to see what the next part of the plot will be, and tells She-Ra and He-Man where to find Orko and the mannys, as well as warning them about the Monstroids.
Orko, Alisha and Miguel are in a stereotypical prison cell, with bars on the windows and everything, when they are rescued by "Cutter" of "the Manchines." He cuts through the bards of the cell, saying
"They don't call me Cutter for nothing."
Another Manchine called "Zipper" helps them escape until they get surrounded by all the Monstroids.
"You're pretty good at giving orders, Metal Mouth, now let's see how good you are at taking them - move away from my friends!"
He-Man and She-Ra come to rescue in the nick of time, and defeat the Monstroids one by one, accompanying each with a Bond-like quip. I expect they know this is the best way to annoy Number One. The Manchines do their best to help, but given how quickly He-Man and She-Ra were going through their Monstroid opponents, I don't think they needed it.
Meanwhile Orko, Alisha and Miguel meet "a Manchine puppy" who is there to be cute. Skeletor flies in on a rocket cycle and captures Alisha and Miguel (and the puppy, who is called Relay) while shouting
"Ha! Got you at last, you troublesome tots!"
He flies off leaving Orko behind to tell He-Man and She-Ra, but by then Skeletor has enough of a head start to get away from them. Though not from Hordak.
Skeletor: "Now nothing can stop me from delivering them to Horde Prime."Hordak: "Don't be so sure, Bonehead."
The two baddys pewpewpew each other. Hordak has to break off his pursuit, but Skeletor's rocket cycle crashes (after flying blind for a little while). Skeletor tries to make the mannys travel on foot, but they are too cold.
Miguel: "Please, mister, be nice. It's Christmas time."Skeletor: "Christmas time? What's that?"Miguel: "It's a season of love, and joy."Alisha: "And caring."Skeletor: "Is that what Christmas is? No wonder Horde Prime wants to get rid of it."
Despite claiming to be unimpressed, even disgusted, by the concept of Christmas, Skeletor does magic up some extra warm coats for the two mannys so that they can survive in the cold.
Miguel: "Thank you Mr Skeletor, you are very kind."Skeletor: "Kind? Never use that word around me!"
At first Skeletor wants to leave the puppy behind, but eventually he relents and goes back for it, saying
"Oh blast it! I don't know what's coming over me... but whatever it is I don't like it!"
LOL, he's getting Christmassed.
Alisha: "It was nice of you to save Relay, Mr Skeletor."Skeletor: "I am not nice!"
In case it isn't obvious enough by now, these scenes are tremendous fun and are easily the best bit of the whole episode. Miguel and Alisha start telling "Mr Skeletor" about Christmas.
Miguel: "Well, it's a wonderful time of the year. Everyone has lots of fun."Skeletor: "You mean they get in fights?"Miguel: "No, no! They have fun!"Skeletor: "Fights are fun! I like fights!"Miguel: "And you give each other presents..."Skeletor: "And when you open them they explode, right?"
As happy as we cats would be for this scene to continue, it is interrupted by "a Snow Beast" which has decided to attack them. Skeletor protects the mannys and uses his magic to defeat the beast, which slides away on the ice (and is presumably unharmed). Skeletor, who hasn't He-Man's mastery of the
"So much for the Snow Beast."
We're building up to the big climax, as He-Man and She-Ra and Hordak and his disposable robo-henchmannys all catch up with Skeletor and his friends prisoners. Skeletor and Hordak pew at each other for a bit, until Horde Prime himself arrives in a giant spaceship to try to capture the mannys personally. He-Man and She-Ra are kept busy fighting the seemingly endless horde (hence the name) of robots, so it is up to Mr Skeletor to save the mannys from Horde Prime, which he does by pewing the spaceship with a single pew that both destroys its grabby claw thingy and then makes it crash. Must have knocked out the main rivet or something, mew.
Even He-Man is surprised that Skeletor saved the mannys, but concludes
"I think you're feeling the Christmas spirit, Skeletor. It makes you feel... good."
"Well I don't like to feel good. I like to feel... evil."
LOL.
This Christmas truce brings the main plot to an end, and all that is left is the epilogue where we see the birthday party that was being prepared for back at the beginning. Alisha and Miguel are teleported home to parents who, despite claiming they "were so worried," don't seem to require any explanation for how their missing children suddenly turned up in the house.
In a final scene with Prince Adam and Orko, Adam gives a hasty disclaimer that "not everyone celebrates Christmas" before asserting Christian supremacy with "but the spirit of the Christmas season is within us all."
Orko gets the last word when he trumps the prince's Christmas message by reminding us that, in addition to "peace and caring and happiness," above all else Christmas is a time for
"Presents."
As a joint He-Man and She-Ra special, the episode takes a different approach to how it divides its time between the two series, with She-Ra meeting as many of her friends as possible, albeit each one appearing only for a very brief time, scarcely more than a cameo. He-Man, on the other paw, only spends time with a couple of his friends - Man-At-Arms and Orko - but they are more heavily involved in the plot, at the expense of his other friends not getting a look in. Even Teela barely appears.
This results in the single worst thing about this otherwise fun adventure - the non-appearance of the best He-Man character, Cringer (a.k.a. Battle Cat). Cringer is even missing from his usual place in He-Man's transformation sequence, so thoroughly is he excluded. No cat worth his rainbow stripes would forgive them for this, Christmas spirit or no Christmas spirit.
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