Monday 11 May 2020

Big Gay Longcat reviews Doctor Who: The Ambassadors OF DEATH Episode Two

It's an unusual format choice, to have the cliffhanger recap and then the title.


Taltalian wants the Doctor to hand over his tape with a recording of episodes two to seven of this story in colour the alien message. The Doctor holds it out, but then makes it vanish with his first use of never-before-seen Dramatic Editing powers. Then the Brigadier comes in and Taltalian runs away, with the Brigadier giving chase.


The Doctor returns the tape in the same way he made it vanish. He puts it down to "transmigration of object" but we all know he did it with a jump-cut.

The Doctor leaves Liz with the tape and goes with the Brigadier to talk to the prisoner, Carrington's henchmanny. They don't find out much, but the Doctor does deduce that the manny is a soldier who was "acting under orders." They are then called away by, in the words of Davros (who is still sitting-by to give exposition direct to camera when needed), "another extraordinary development in the mystery of Mars Probe 7."

The prisoner gets rescued, while Liz and the Doctor discover that Taltalian has sabotaged the computer so they can't use it to translate the alien message. The baddys seem very competent and well-organised so far, no wonder this is a seven-part story.


All of the goodys' attentions are occupied with getting the Recovery 7 spaceship safely to Earth in some long, slow scenes of tension-building. Even stock footage is called in to assist with this. Davros tells us the spaceship will "land somewhere in the south of England" because it would be too expensive to film it landing anywhere else.


When Recovery 7 lands, UNIT races out to get to it. Professor Cornish tries to speak to the spacemannys inside while they are being watched secretly from afar by Carrington. When there is no response, the Doctor suggests they take it back to the Space Centre. Carrington is able to listen in on the Brigadier's telephone call as he makes the arrangements, and thus finds out their plans.

The incidental music warns us that something dramatic is about to happen. A helicopter flies over the Brigadier and his truck with the spaceship on it, and then drops bombs on UNIT to make them stop.


Then there is a HAVOC fight where the baddys have pewpewpew guns so they win and steal the truck by making the Brigadier and all his mannys have sleeps, and one of the UNIT mannys does a stunt to no purpose other than to make the scene look even more dramatic.

The Doctor missed the fight and is driving along in Bessie when he sees the truck going the wrong way, alerting him to what has happened. He cleverly blocks the road and pretends to be a harmless old manny to get Carrington and his henchmanny to help him.


Holy Anti Thief Device, Batman!

When they touch Bessie, the Doctor activates his convenient anti-thief device that sticks them to the car so he can drive off with their truck.

By the time the Doctor gets Recovery 7 back to the Space Centre, the Brigadier has found Bessie but the mannys that were stuck to it have managed to escape. Liz has started to "crack the code" of the alien message, but who would have thought Taltalian's assistant would also be a baddy? Clearly not anybody in UNIT. He telephones his secret superiors to warn them.

The Doctor and the Brigadier go to "talk to the top man" Sir James...


No, that's Sid James, not Sir James.

Sir James is also in league with the baddys and as soon as they have left him alone, Sir James meets with Taltalian.

When they finally get to talk to the mannys inside Recovery 7, they just say the same things over and over again. It takes a while for Professor Cornish to get suspicious, because saying the same things over and over seems to be the main part of his job.
"Hello Space Control, this is Recovery 7. Will you clear us for re-entry?"
"Charlie, this is Ralph Cornish. You are back at Space Control, open the capsule."
"We are not cleared for re-entry."
"Charlie, you are back at Space Control. What's wrong? Open the hatch."
"Hello Space Control, this is Recovery 7. Will you clear us for re-entry?"
But the Doctor soon realises the replies they are getting are non-sequiturs:
"Let me try. Hello, Van Lyden? What is the capital of Australia?"
"We are not cleared for re-entry."
"How many beans make five?"
"Hello Space control, this is Recovery 7. Will you clear us for re-entry?"
"Van Lyden?"
"We are not cleared for re-entry."


"Right, cut it open!"

Cliffhanger!

It may not sound like a great one on paper, but the way Jon Pertwee delivers that last line, it is actually really powerful.

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