Wednesday 6 April 2022

Big Gay Longcat reviews Doctor Who: Planet of the Daleks Episode Five


Taron and Codal knock out a Spiridon so they can steal its purple coat for a disguise (also to look fabulous). Then Codal gets confused and forgets which one is Taron, lol. Other than that they are able to easily beat the Spiridons now that they have given away their one considerable advantage of being invisible.

The Doctor and Jo are approached by Wester, the friendly Spiridon who saved Jo earlier. Jo somehow knows his name even though it has not been mentioned on-screen before now. Wester tells them about the Daleks' "bacteria bomb."

Vaber is taken to the Daleks. He tries to run away but the Daleks exterminate him, as well as an unlucky Spiridon who happened to be standing nearby at the time. Taron and Codal steal back their bombs and run away, with the Daleks pursuing them shouting "PURSUE! PURSUE!"

The Doctor has a plan involving the "molten ice pools" and he says "it's an odd phenomenon, the water on this planet. It sustains sub-zero temperatures and yet remains semi-liquid." I don't think we're likely to get any more of a science lesson than that, it's just an excuse for Terry Nation to include ice volcanoes in his story.


The Daleks arrive at the plain of stones where the Doctor and Taron wrestle the first Dalek, and Jo, Codal, Latep and Rebec wrestle with the other Dalek, until they both end up in the pool of water molten ice, which they don't like at all because it is cold and wet.


In fact, Taron says
"The shock of the sudden cold must have killed them straight away."
This allows Rebec to 'do an Ian' and pretend to be a Dalek, while the Doctor, Taron and Codal disguise themselves as Spiridons. Jo and Latep are sent with a bomb to try and blow up a tunnel to bury the Dalek army, so where they're going they don't need robes coats.

The disguised team get inside the Dalek base, and see that Wester has already bluffed himself inside by asking to speak to the Daleks' "section leader." The Doctor is somehow able to recognise Wester even though he is wearing the same purple coat as all the other Spiridons wear. And no, it's not racist to say that they 'all look the same' when they are all invisible, mew.


Wester takes the lid off the Daleks' bacteria tank and then goes
a classic example of a self-sacrifice. This makes one of the Daleks in the laboratory very unhappy and it says
"WE CANNOT LEAVE HERE. NO ONE CAN ENTER. WE CAN NEVER LEAVE HERE. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!"
getting increasingly agitated as it goes on in a typical Daleky way. This is because the Daleks in the laboratory are immune to the bacteria, but none of the other Daleks have been given the antidote yet. They can't get the antidote without going into the laboratory, and they can't go into the laboratory without the antidote.

The (real) Dalek that came in behind the disguised team spots that one of the Thals has a visible boot under his coat and so cannot be an invisible Spiridon. It shouts out
"WAIT! YOU ARE NOT SPIRIDONS! EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!"
Cliffhanger! Cliffhanger! Cliffhanger!

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