Tuesday, 5 April 2022

Big Gay Longcat reviews Doctor Who: Planet of the Daleks Episode Four

There is, unusually, no recap at all of part three, and this episode begins with the Doctor's plan succeeding and he, Taron, Codal and Rebec all lift off into the ventilation shaft. The Daleks burst into the room and say that our heroes must be hiding, because they don't think to look up... for a while at least.


They send for "an anti-gravitational disc" so that they can chase after our heroes, and we all know Daleks love chases almost as much as doggies.

Terry Nation, meanwhile, loves a countdown, so the Daleks find the Thals' explosives and set their timers going so they will explode. After the Daleks have gone, Jo sneaks in and changes the countdown timers. Unfortunately for her, a big rock then lands on her hed and knocks her out, leaving her in peril of being blown up when the countdown has finished counting down.


When Jo wakes up she makes an "oh noes" face before running off with two of the explosives, leaving the third to blow up the Daleks who have come back to check on why they haven't exploded already.

With a Dalek chasing them up the shaft (oo-er), the three Thals get to the top in the nick of time, but the improvised hot air balloon tears and drops the Doctor down part of the way, leaving him still in peril. Taron and Codal drop down ropes to the Doctor while dramatic music plays, until they can pull him up to safety. Then Codal and Rebec drop down rocks on the Dalek, sending it back to the bottom where, presumably, it will have to start the chase all over again from the start.

Jo meets up with the Doctor and the Thals. Their reunion is written in a slightly comedic way as the Doctor can't believe Jo is still alive:
Doctor: "Jo, you were on that Thal spaceship. I saw it destroyed."
Jo: "No, I wasn't."
Doctor: "But you were."
Jo: "No, I wasn't."

Having failed to catch our heroes, the Daleks turn to their backup plan. They have "A BACTERIOLOGICAL CULTURE THAT WILL DESTROY ALL LIVING TISSUE" and they plan to release it. I think they have nicked this backup plan from the Silurians.


The Daleks keep their bacteria in a container that makes it look a bit like a 1980s gunge tank. They say it will be "READY FOR RELEASE IN HALF A SPIRIDON DAY."

Taron is full of self-doubt, so the Doctor gives him some encouragement:
"The moment that we forget that we're dealing with people, then we're no better off than the machines that we came here to destroy. When we start acting and thinking like the Daleks, Taron, the battle is lost."
This is an odd line because it sounds a bit like the Doctor is describing the Daleks as "machines," but the Daleks aren't machines, they are aliens that live inside machines. And this was written by Terry Nation, the creator of the Daleks, so I'm sure he wouldn't forget a thing like that.

Vaber and Latep meet up with the others, so all of the surviving Thals are together. They plan to go to "the plain of stones" where it will be warm at night - sounds sensible, we cats like sleeping on the shelf above the radiator for much the same reason.


Jo teaches Latep about the strange manny custom of the "handshake," accidentally starting off a Doomed Romance subplot when Latep mistaiks Jo's friendly greeting for a manly handshake, which has quite a different meaning.

The plain of stones has its own set, dimly lit to build the atmosphere, and helped by the sounds of scary noises coming from all around our heroes. Vaber and Taron resume their argument about who should be in charge and what they should do, and they wrestle over it. Taron wins and says
"I am still in command here and, like it or not, you will obey orders. And believe me, Vaber, if you don't, I shan't hesitate to kill you."

While the other Thals are having sleeps, Vaber steals their explosives and goes off alone to try to blow up the Daleks. Taron and Codal go after him, leaving the others behind at the plain of stones, where they get surrounded by the spooky eyes of lots of animals in the darkness.


This would have been a great scary moment for a cliffhanger, but instead the episode continues for a moment longer. We see Vaber get captured by Spiridons, visible in their big purple coats. It would have been less embarrassing for him if Vaber had at least been caught by some invisible ones.

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