Saturday, 1 May 2021

Big Gay Longcat reviews Doctor Who: The Curse of Peladon Episode Three


Izlyr makes the very reasonable point that
"A Royal pardon would count highly with the Federation."
but the Federation are forbidden by their own laws from interference with the laws of Peladon. This makes this Federation much more like the one from Star Trek than the one in Blakes 7, who would be interfering quicker than Izlyr could say 'Servalan.'

The king offers the Doctor "trial by combat" over Hepesh's objections. He will have to fight Grun to the death. If this is what Hepesh meant when he ordered Grun to kill the Doctor, they're taking a very roundabout way to do it.

Once everybody else has left the throne room, the king proposes marriage to Jo. She is unhappy about this coming so soon after the king was ready to sentence the Doctor to death, so she runs away.


The Doctor is well aware that Hepesh is behind his predicament. Hepesh gives the Doctor a chance to escape back to the TARDIS, saying that he doesn't want the Doctor to die, he just wants the Federation to leave... Fedexit, if you like. Mew.
Hepesh expresses his fears about the Federation:
"They'll exploit us for our minerals, enslave us with their machines, corrupt us with their technology. The face of Peladon will be changed, the past swept away, and everything that I know and value will have gone."
When the Doctor suggests this would leave Peladon facing the whole of the Federation, Hepesh replies
"We do not stand alone."
giving away that he has an alien ally.

The Doctor follows Hepesh's map into the tunnels where he hears Aggedor going rar, but the Doctor isn't scared. He is prepared for this, and has made a device for hypno-eyesing Aggedor.


'Aggedor dor dor, push pineapple shake the tree,
Aggedor dor dor, push pineapple grind coffee.'

The Doctor accompanies the spinning device with a Venusian lullaby that, between them, cause Aggedor to get... to get... zzzzz...

Mew, where was I?

The Ice Warriors help Jo escape into the tunnels as well (although they are secretly overheard by Arcturus, so there is much intrigue among the delegates), and when she sees the Doctor with Aggedor she gets a torch and uses it to chase away poor Aggedor. Boo!
The Doctor is also annoyed with her, and even says outright
"Oh, Jo, you idiot!"
Jo says she was only trying to help and they make up again quickly.

In the throne room, Hepesh says he wants the Doctor to be "hunted and killed like an animal" for running away from his trial, but then the Doctor enters and says
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Hepesh."
which is chairman delegatese for "Fuck you Hepesh, you two-faced cunt." The Doctor tells the king about seeing Aggedor in the tunnels, but Hepesh again lies and claims there are no tunnels, demanding the trial proceed at once.


The Doctor and Grun descend ropes into a pit where they get weapons and start fighting. The fight goes on for a while but is dynamically filmed and quite exciting. The Doctor gets the upper paw at first (well, he has an unfair advantage by having his stuntmanny on his side) but then Hepesh gives Grun extra weapons when he needs them.

The Doctor wins in the end, and demonstrates the higher quality of mercy when he spares Grun's life. This whole section of the story would get Captain Kirk's seal of approval, no question. Then Arcturus and Ssorg both fire their pewpewpew weapons, but they do it in extreme close up so that we don't know why or who they're shooting. This mystery is the cliffhanger!

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