Typical mannys - we cats are used to them being hopeless and making us wait a whole year for Eurovision, but this time they have gone too far and made us wait another whole extra second year! Outrageous!
'Peoples of the European Broadcasting Union, please attend carefully. The message that follows is vital to the future of you all. The choice for you all is simple. I am the Portugese singer and you will vote for me.'
I've clearly been watching too much Doctor Who while waiting impatiently for this last year's Eurovision Singing Competition, because now when I see a manny with a goatee I immediately think it must be the Master.
This year's event had a shaky start, with an early song from Belgium being performed by a band called Hooverphonic. Oh noes! If Hoover has infiltrated Eurovision, no wonder it was so late.
Perennial Eurovision Baddys Russia accidentally sent a goody. Not only did she have a good song and performance, but also a positive message.
Greece's entry really shouldn't have let Barry Letts direct her CSO-heavy dance routine. It's not the UNIT era any more, lol!
Other entries that I enjoyed included Iceland, with its colourful wheel of keytars, and reliable old Sweden had a great entry as usual.
Lithuania was my favourite in the end, with a quirky, silly song and dance.
The actual voting was as baffling as ever - you can always tell it is mannys who vote for these things, what with their thumbs meaning they can use the telephone, and they don't always vote for who their cats tell them to, mew!
Plus the stupid system of assigning the votes has been kept on from two years ago, and my critcisms from then are just as true now.
The UK and Germany did particularly badly this time, with the UK getting no points at all from anybody. I for one couldn't tell why mannys across the whole of Eurovision liked the entries from Switzerland and (eventual winner) Italy so much more than those. None of them were as good as cat singing anyway.
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