Big Gay Longcat reviews Blakes 7: Blake

SPOILER WARNING: Do not read this review if you have not seen the last episode of Blakes 7 but have any intention of ever doing so. This review will give away all of the ending to the series.

Avon needs Blake, so they go looking for him and find him. But is Blake still a goody or has he decided to join with the baddys? It's up to Avon to decide who to believe, and what to do about it.

Blake, by Chris Boucher, is - of course - the last episode of season 4 and the last TV episode of Blakes 7 ever. It is a very sad story and brings to an end the tragedy of Avon that was begun at least as far back as Rumours of Death in season 3.

It starts with Scorpio! abandoning the base, which then blows up. This directly follows on from the events of the previous episode Warlord and shows there is no turning back now.

Avon wants a figurehead for his rebellion after Zukan turned out to be a baddy. Vila quickly realises he means Blake. Orac has tracked Blake to the planet Gauda Prime, which was also Soolin's homeworld and sounds like a very bad place.

Blake is in a wood, having noms, when he meets Arlen. Blake is a bounty hunter and he kills three other bounty hunters so he can capture Arlen. It looks like Blake has become a baddy!

Scorpio! is attacked and they are going to crash on Gauda Prime. Vila, Dayna and Soolin teleport down first. Tarrant can't leave the controls or Scorpio! will explode straight away, so he can't escape. Avon hesitates as he is sad that he has to leave Tarrant behind, but then he teleports down with Orac. Scorpio! crashes and Avon thinks Tarrant is dead.

Blake is paid for capturing Arlen. The mannys paying him have detected where Scorpio! crashed.

Vila, Dayna and Soolin find an old house. Mannys are looking for them, they attack Vila but Avon arrives and kills them.

On crashed Scorpio! Slave dies but Tarrant is still alive. Blake finds him and they fly back to Blake's base in a flying thing called a flyer. Avon and the others follow them in another flyer they got from the mannys Avon killed.

At the base Blake learns there are a lot of ships coming that they didn't know about before, but he doesn't pay attention to this because he is excited that he is going to see Avon again. He hands Tarrant over to the mannys because he knows who Tarrant is from hearing Slave say "Tarrant" before he died.

Tarrant doesn't know it is Blake but guesses it when Blake mentions Jenna and knows a lot about their group including Orac. Thinking Blake is a bounty hunter and a baddy Tarrant escapes before he can find out Blake is not really a bounty hunter, he was just testing Tarrant. Blake is still a rebel and Deva and Arlen are working for him.

Tarrant is on the loose and he fights with mannys who see him. An alarm goes off. Avon and the others arrive in time to help Tarrant. Blake comes in. Tarrant tells Avon that Blake is a baddy and Avon believes him enough to ask Blake "is it true?"

"Avon, it's me, Blake." Blake is happy to see his old friend, but Avon has been through a lot of things since he last saw Blake and his best friend Tarrant has just told him Blake has betrayed them.

"Stand still," says Avon to Blake.

"Have you betrayed us? Have you betrayed me?"

He shoots Blake three times.

Blake's last word is "Avon."

Arlen shoots Deva and reveals she is a Federation officer. She shoots Dayna when Dayna goes for her gun.

Then Vila disarms and knocks out Arlen.

But more Federation soldiers arrive and shoot Vila, Soolin and Tarrant.

Oh noes! Tarrant is dead! Poor Tarrant.

Avon is surrounded as he stands over Blake's body. He raises his gun and smiles.

The end.

That is the end of the saddest story I have ever seen. Blake and Tarrant (and Vila, Dayna and Soolin) are dead and Avon is in big trouble. I am a very sad cat as I write this and think of the tragic ending that they came to after all of Avon's cleverness and Tarrant's bravery and everything.

Why am I also a happy cat at the same time? It must be because although it is a sad story, it is a very good story at the same time. Everything in the episode drives events towards the final scene and the consequences arise from who the characters are, as established not just in this episode but as far back as Star One, when Blake tells Avon that he always trusted him.

Blake still trusts Avon as he did then, but Avon has been through so much since then - particularly the events of Rumours of Death when he found out that the love of his life had betrayed him - that he believes Blake could have betrayed him as Anna did.

Vila trusted Avon too, until the events of Orbit when Avon proved he would kill a goody and a friend to save himself. But here it looks to Avon like Blake is no longer a goody or a friend because Tarrant, who is Avon's friend, says so and the situation makes it look like Tarrant is right.

Easy to overlook with so many characters getting shot is Vila, right before he gets shot, doing the bravest thing he ever did when he knocks out Arlen. Vila is not my favourite character, but I do like him because he is clever in a different way from Avon and the others, and most of the time he pretends not to be.

Why was Vila brave right at the end? I think he was always both clever and brave, he just pretended not to be so other mannys wouldn't know how clever and brave he was. He acted silly so they would underestimate him. I think this worked so well that even some of the story writers underestimated how clever Vila was.

I don't know how Avon survives, but I do know he does survive because Kaston Iago in Kaldor City is really Avon in disguise. I know this because he is played by Paul Darrow and he meets Carnell who was in Weapon from season 2 of Blakes 7.

Duncan thinks Iago is a different character from Avon but he is wrong, Iago is Avon with only a different name for legal reasons.

This episode makes me feel both happy and sad at the same time, like at the end of a Shakespeare tragedy. It is unlike anything else I have ever watched. It does not feel like a story all by itself, it feels like the end of a story - the story of Blake and Avon that was started when Blakes 7 started.

Now that story is finished. Blake is not my favourite episode even though it is very good, but it is a brilliant way to end the story. It ties together the whole series. Blake is a TV masterpiece.

Big Gay Longcat reviews Blakes 7: Rumours of Death

Avon wants to get revenge on the manny who killed Anna Grant. Revenge is Serious Business; it's up to him if he will take it all the way.

Rumours of Death, by Chris Boucher, is one of the most serious stories of the fabulous season 3. It is also one of the best stories ever because it is all about Avon!

It starts with Avon in prison. Oh noes! A baddy called Shrinker thinks he has trapped Avon but really Avon has trapped him - Avon, Tarrant and Dayna capture Shrinker and teleport back to the Liberator. Cally feels sorry for him but nobody else does because he is a baddy.

On Earth mannys are fighting and spying on each other. It looks like this bit is not to do with Avon but it is really because the leader of the fighting mannys is Sula who is actually Anna Grant who was Avon's love but he thinks she is dead when she isn't. This is important later.

Avon and Shrinker teleport down to a cave. Shrinker doesn't remember Anna Grant but Avon does. Shrinker remembers when Avon tried to become rich before Anna died and he tells Avon that a baddy called Bartholomew killed Anna, not him.

He he, every time they say Bartholomew they have to go mew like a cat.

Shrinker tells Avon all he knows about Bartholomew, then Avon teleports up and leaves Shrinker behind in the cave instead of killing him. Avon leaves Shrinker a gun in case, being a baddy, he wants to shoot somebody, although he is the only manny there.

Servalan has a new house. The fighting mannys attack Servalan's new house. A lot of them are in disguise so they fool the spying mannys who are on Servalan's side. The spying mannys get shot and Servalan gets captured. One of the spying mannys is still alive and tries to get help for Servalan.

Serious Business needs a Serious Face.

"I made a promise."

"To Anna?"

"To me."

Avon wants to see Servalan to find out more about Bartholomew. He doesn't know she has already been captured. Avon, Tarrant, Cally and Dayna teleport down and, after finding out about the fighting mannys, get into the house.

Servalan is in prison in the basement. Avon and Tarrant find her and she thinks Avon is in charge but he isn't. Anna comes in and Avon recognises her.

Anna tries to kiff Avon but he doesn't want to.

Avon remembers Shrinker's words about Bartholomew and realises it is Anna really. He shoots Anna when she tries to shoot him.

Only when Anna dies does Avon kiff her.

Avon lets Servalan go free. Then Servalan's friends arrive. Vila teleports up Tarrant, Cally and Dayna but not Avon. Servalan points a gun at Avon and tells him to put his teleport bracelet back on. She is going to shoot but he escapes in time.

This is a tragic ending. Avon is alive but he has killed Anna who was his love. He wanted to get revenge on her killer but it turns out it was him. Avon is left feeling very sad. Poor sad Avon.

Anna is a complicated character: as Anna Grant she was Avon's love, but as Bartholomew she was a baddy who put Avon in prison, but she was also Sula who was fighting against Servalan, another baddy. So was Anna a baddy or not?

Avon thought she was a baddy because he knew that as Bartholomew she had betrayed him, and so he shot Anna before she could shoot him. But he felt bad about it afterwards because she had also been a goody and his love.

Avon and Anna are doubly tragic because both thought the other was dead, then they meet again, but because Anna betrayed Avon in the past they can't trust each other now, so the only thing they can do is try to kill one another even though they are still in love. It's a very sad story.

This episode has a long-lasting effect on Avon. With nobody to hug him and kiff him and make him feel better after killing Anna, maybe he doesn't ever stop feeling sad about it. And maybe this is what sets him on the path that will lead him to shooting another of his friends who he thinks has betrayed him.

But that's another story...

A Cat and a Dog and a Song

"There is an inn, a merry old inn

Beneath an old grey hill,

And there they brew a beer so brown

That the Man in the Moon himself came down

One night to drink his fill.

The ostler has a tipsy cat

That plays a five-stringed fiddle;

And up and down he runs his bow,

Now squeaking high, now purring low,

Now sawing in the middle.

The landlord keeps a little dog

That is mighty fond of jokes;

When there's good cheer among the guests,

He cocks an ear at all the jests

And laughs until he chokes.

They also keep a horned cow

As proud as any queen;

But music turns her head like ale,

And makes her wave her tufted tail

And dance upon the green.

And O! the rows of silver dishes

And the store of silver spoons!

For Sunday there's a special pair,

And these they polish up with care

On Saturday afternoons.

The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,

And the cat began to wail;

A dish and a spoon on the table danced,

The cow in the garden madly pranced,

And the little dog chased his tail.

The Man in the Moon took another mug,

And then rolled beneath his chair;

And there he dozed and dreamed of ale,

Till in the sky the stars were pale,

And dawn was in the air.

Then the ostler said to his tipsy cat:

"The white horses of the Moon,

They neigh and champ their silver bits;

But their master's been and drowned his wits,

And the Sun'll be rising soon!"

So the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,

A jig that would wake the dead:

He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,

While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:

"It's after three!" he said.

They rolled the Man slowly up the hill

And bundled him into the Moon,

While his horses galloped up in rear,

And the cow came capering like a deer,

And a dish ran up with the spoon.

Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;

The dog began to roar,

The cow and the horses stood on their heads;

The guests all bounded from their beds

And danced upon the floor.

With a ping and a pong the fiddle-strings broke!

The cow jumped over the Moon,

And the little dog laughed to see such fun,

And the Saturday dish went off at a run

With the silver Sunday spoon.

The round Moon rolled behind the hill

As the Sun raised up her head.

She hardly believed her fiery eyes;

For though it was day, to her surprise

They all went back to bed!"

No Votes for Longcat

Now I know what an Election really is, it is an Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny for mannys.

This is what a Longcat Election would look like:

Compared to this the manny version is very boring. Zzzzz

I has a new chair

Today I has a new chair for going on the internets!

Happy cat!

Guest spot: The Blog of Cthulhu

Hello. I am Mighty Cthulhu. I am a Great Old One, a baddy from the dawn of time. When the stars are right I will destroy the world and nom you all. Until then I stay on the sofa near the Buddha Cushion and am friends with Big Gay Longcat. I spend most of my time sleeping, or 'eternally lying' as I call it, sometimes watching TV with Longcat - I always root for the baddys.

Although I presently find myself in reduced circumstances while the stars are not right, do not make the mistake of thinking that I am cute.

I am not cute, I am Mighty!

Please now lose D100 points of Sanity.

Monkey Magic

Hello, we're monkeys.

We have badges.

We are Monkeys With Badges.

We like Monkey.

Monkey is the best thing ever.

Even better than badges.

King Monkey is good at fighting.

He is the Great Sage, Equal of Heaven.

The only man who may be as good at fighting as Monkey is Mike Loades.